The Apathy Imp's Oneshots
by TheApathyImp
Summary: This will become my oneshot master file. Most of it's gonna be Big Time Rush, but it might not all be. They're all going to be mutually exclusive, so read them in whatever order you like. Rated M just in case.
1. Kendall's Google Adventure

So... yeah... just... yeah...

I don't own BTR.

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><p>Kendall sat alone in his room, laptop on hand, trying to distract himself from thinking of <em>Jo<em>. "Ugh. what to do, what to do..." he muttered to himself, pulling up his tumblr page. _Maybe __I__'__ll __just __wander __around__, __see __if __anyone __has __posted __anything __funny__._

Moments later however, he rage quit the tumblr and groaned. "That did a fat lot of nothing for making me feel better... maybe I'll just google our names put together..."

Though this was probably not the best idea, he did it anyway, starting out with "Kames" he got nothing, then with "Jagan" he also just got ads and businesses. Finally he tried "Kenlos", this gave a set of interesting looking links, and bypassing the tumblr one on top, he clicked on the second one down.

When the page opened it was some kind of story based off of the boys. As he read it his eyes widened.

"What the hell..."

Just as he finished, he heard the bedroom door open and James walked into the room.

"Hey Kenny, what'cha doin'?"

"Just uh... reading..." He said, eyes still glued to the screen.

James walked over and looked over his shoulder. "W-whoa... this is... what."

"I don't even know Jamie... it's some kind of... fanfiction. It's like written by a fan about how they imagine something might happen..."

James nodded slowly and then looked down at the blonde. "W-what do you think of it?"

"Well... it's reasonable use of the English language... and it's... interesting... but uh... I don't really think I'd want to date Carlos." Kendall said slowly, clicking back to the google page when he felt James' hand on his shoulder.

When he looked up, the taller brunette had an unreadable expression on his face. "So... you uh, weren't... disgusted by it?" James asked quietly, eyes almost glowing in the dim lighting of the bedroom.

"N-no..."

"So, you... don't mind the idea of being with another guy?"

"Not really... James why are you asking me this?"

James looked away from Kendall's gaze for just a moment, turning back and saying very quietly, almost so quietly Kendall didn't hear. "Because I have a crush on you."

Kendall felt his cheeks heat up and he looked to the door.

James noticed this and backed up a couple of paces, blushing a bit himself. "Sorry, just. Forget I said anything. I shouldn't have told you, you just broke up with Jo and I don't need to take advantage of that... besides, you obviously don't feel the same way."

He turned and opened the door, just about to rush out of it when he heard the blonde speak again. "Yes I do."

"W-what?" most of his brain, and all of his heart was telling him to just run while he still could, this was obviously a huge trick, but he ignored it and turned back to where Kendall was sitting, noticing the look of sincerity in the blonde's eyes.

"I said, I do feel the same way." Kendall stood and walked over to James, pushing the door closed slowly and looking him in the eye again. "I... I only started dating Jo because I was scared you would reject me. She was safe, but you never were. I've liked you since we were 15 Jamie..."

James blinked a couple of times, eyes focusing on the blonde's lips. "A-are you serious?"

"As death." Kendall didn't wait for a response before he leaned over and kissed the brunette.

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><p>Yep so, I was tired of trying to write more of the Tryan story and BTC, plus, I'm in this roleplay and I got all of this Kames started and so it's been floating aorund in my brain, and then I was like "lol what would happen if one of them found out about the pairings..?" so this happened...<p>

Like it?

Didn't?

Review and tell me why.

=3


	2. Kames Smut

So, this is my first ever proper smutfic. Still don't own BTR.

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><p>Kendall smirked as he clicked tumblr off and closed the lid on his laptop. He stood, making sure to grab his phone just in case someone needed to get ahold of him.<p>

He headed out of his room and slipped into the one next to him, smiling at James, who was just closing his own computer.

The brunette stood and walked over, slipping his arms around the shorter boy's waist. "Hey."

"Hey baby." Kendall replied, kissing him briefly, before he pulled back slightly, a small frown marring his features. "Are you sure you want to do this Jamie? We can wait if you're not ready."

James didn't answer for a moment, but then he smirked and slipped his hands into the blonde's back pockets, squeezing his ass. "I thought I made it clear when I said to come over here. You promised you would fuck me until I was screaming your name, and I don't like when people break their promises."

Kendall moaned very slightly and crashed their lips together, not even stopping to answer his boyfriend verbally.

He pushed James back onto the brunette's bed, not even breaking their lip contact until they were a tangled mess of limbs on the bed, and his lungs were searing from lack of oxygen.

He panted as he looked down at James, marveling at the other boy's beauty.

"You're fucking beautiful Jamie-bear."

"And you're a fucking stud Knight. Now take me."

There wasn't much Kendall could say, so he mentally shrugged and started kissing the other boy again. One of the blonde's hands slid under James' black wife beater while the other went up to his hair.

He smiled into the kiss when he felt more than heard James moan. Acting on a whim, he pulled softly on the silken tresses, smirking when James moaned again, this time louder. _So__, __baby __likes __when __I __pull __his __hair__._

Kendall filed this new information away for use at a later date, breaking the kiss so that he could remove the brunette's shirt. "Fuck Jamie."

James smirked up at him, oozing confidence. "Like what you see?"

"I like it a lot." Kendall purred, and leaned back just far enough to remove his own shirt, throwing it in a random direction.

James' eyes travelled over the other teen's body slowly, a predatory smirk forming on his face. "Well aren't you just a delectable morsel." He reached up and ran his hand down the blonde's chest, splaying it across his abs. "Holy damn Kendall, you're so fucking sexy."

"You're hotter." Kendall cut off any protest from the other boy with another soul searing kiss.

He let out a moan when he felt the hand James had placed on his abdomen slip down over the rapidly growing bulge in his jeans.

James smirked just slightly and gave the blonde's dick a small squeeze, gasping when he felt the boy on top of him bite his lip slightly.

Kendall took full advantage of this and slid his tongue into Jame's mouth, exploring every nook and cranny of the warm cavern.

James broke the kiss and stared up into Kendall's entrancing green eyes. "Fuck Kendall, I _need __you__._" He panted out, slipping his arms around the blonde's waist to grope his ass once more.

"Well, I can't deny my Jamie what he needs now can I?" Kendall purred and leaned down to kiss and lick at James' neck, smirking into the tanned flesh when he heard the other boy gasp and moan again.

"Oh my god." James felt his eyes roll back slightly and let out another wanton moan. "Knight, mark me as yours, fuck, _bite __me __Kendall__._"

Kendall was only too happy to oblige and bit down on the brunette's neck, licking and sucking on the mark he made.

James let out yet another obscene moan and looked into those entrancing green orbs as Kendall pulled back to stare at him again. "Y-you can make me bleed if you want..." he blushed as he noticed Kendall smirk, and the once emerald color of the blonde's eyes was replaced by a darker, more intense jade.

"That might just be the hottest thing I've ever heard you say." growled the blonde, and he dove back down to attack James' neck with his teeth once more. This time, he bit down just hard enough to break the thin outer layer of the brunette's body, and relished in the coppery taste of James' blood.

He pulled back and licked the liquid off his lips, smiling at the sight of James' complete surrender to him, blood slowly dripping down his neck.

James was breathing heavily and couldn't look away from Kendall's eyes. "K-Kenny, I need it."

The blonde grinned hungrily at the need in his lover's eyes. "You'll get it."

James moaned and ground his hips upward against Kendall's body smiling as the blonde let out a moan at the contact.

"S-shit Jamie." Kendall moaned again and placed his hands on his lover's hip, holding him down and smirking when James whimpered. "I'm going to let go now, don't move. _Or__else__._" James moaned and nodded, obviously struggling to obey when Kendall removed his hands and stood.

Kendall smirked again and slowly undid the button on his jeans, watching as James chewed his bottom lip and fisted his hands in the black satin sheets.

The jeans fell from his hips and he licked his lips one last time before he grabbed James by the wrist and pulled him into a standing position.

The brunette knew better than to touch before he was told, but his eyes were all over his lover's body. The thin sheen of sweat on the blonde's skin, every line of his abs, and finally the impressive bulge in his black boxer-briefs. James whimpered again and he felt the hands he was so in thrall to land on his hips.

"You're gonna scream my name tonight." Kendall purred out, and then suddenly he was on his knees, undoing the button on James' skinny jeans.

The moment they were off, the brunette's erection sprang free and he let out a sound somewhere between a hiss and a moan.

Kendall smirked once more. "I always wondered how you wore underwear under these. Makes sense that you don't." he plunged forward and licked a trail up the brunette's shaft, eliciting another of those moans.

"Kendall, fuck!" James cried out as the blonde took the head of his lover's manhood into his mouth.

Kendall couldn't speak around the cock in his mouth, so he merely hummed, smirking as he felt James thrust forward involuntarily.

"F-fucking hell Kendall, you're so good at this." Moaned the brunette, hands tangling in his lover's hair.

Kendall moaned a little at the added sensation and took more of James into his mouth.

James' hips bucked once more and Kendall gagged just a little on his dick.

He pulled back with a pop and smirked up at James, eyes watering just slightly. "if you like that, you'll love this."

He took a deep breath and literally swallowed the whole of his boyfriend's length, relishing in the loud moan that was ripped from the pretty boy's throat. "Kendall! Fuck!" James couldn't barely see straight, much less say anything more eloquent than Kendall's name and a few expletives.

Kendall pulled back slowly, then plunged back down James' cock, swallowing around it and smirking when James let out the loudest moan yet.

Once more, he pulled back, scraping the length _just__slightly_ with his teeth before he swirled his tongue around the head, pulling all the way off as he felt James' cock swell just slightly.

"Ah ah, it's not time for you to cum just yet." he said, standing and licking the brunette's neck, slurping just slightly at the still open wound there.

James whimpered and moaned at the same time, causing Kendall to lose focus for just a moment. "Fuck Jamie, the sounds you make are such a turn on."

James merely stared at him, eyes so dark with lust they might as well have been coals.

"Now suck." Kendall ordered, shoving two of his fingers between the pretty boy's lips.

James was more than happy to slurp away at the digits, coating them in as much of his saliva as possible, moaning when he was shoved back onto the bed once more.

"Good boy." Kendall smirked and took the fingers from James' mouth, slowly inserting one of them into the brunette's hole and watching his face for any sign of pain.

James winced just slightly and bit his bottom lip, whimpering, but not in pain. "T-that's new..."

Kendall stopped, and looked concerned. "We can stop if you wa-"

"Knight, if you don't fuck me with your fingers right now, I will _kill_ you."

The smirk was back and he twisted the digit in James body, curling it just slightly and watching the face of pure ecstasy that crossed James' face.

He pushed in the second one, smiling as James moaned again. He began a slow scissoring motion, occasionally pulling them out and pushing them back in.

"Fuck Kendall, I need your cock in me, right this fucking second." James begged, eyes half-lidded and so intense that Kendall could do nothing but nod.

He stood and slipped his boxers down his legs, grabbing James by the thighs and spreading them. Pausing for a moment to spread some lube (_Where __the __fuck __did __he __get __that__?_ James thought to himself_) _over his cock.

"Shit Jamie, you make me so hot."

James moaned again as the blonde slowly lined his member up with his lover's opening.

"J-just do it." He said, sounding only a tiny bit scared.

Kendall nodded and pushed, taking just a tiny bit of pleasure in the very brief flash of pain that crossed the brunette's face.

James let out a moan, even as he winced. "F-fuck. That's... bigger than I expected."

Kendall chuckled and pushed in a little further, watching as his lover's face morphed slowly from pain to pleasure with each successive inch.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he was seated all the way in the brunette, and he paused to let the other boy adjust.

Moments later he heard a growl. "Kendall Knight, if you don't _move_, I will murder you."

Kendall pulled back, thrusting forward into the warmth around his length with a moan.

A cry of "Kendall" was ripped from James' throat, followed by a moan the likes of which had never been heard before. "Fuck me Kendall!"

The blonde sped up his thrusts, panting and moaning occasionally, eyes fixated on James' constantly changing facial expression. "God James, you're fucking amazing."

James panted and began to slam back to meet Kendall's trust. "Fuck! Kendall right there!" he yelled out as the blonde rammed into his prostate, head thrown back and moaning like a wanton whore as his insides were assaulted in the most delicious way imaginable.

A few more well placed thrusts and James saw stars, literally screaming "Kendall" as his orgasm exploded white hot out of his body.

Kendall moaned out James' name as he felt the brunette's walls tighten around his cock, and his own orgasm overtook him, filling the other boy with his cum. "F-fuck Jamie." He moaned once again and slumped forward onto the other teen's body as he rode out the aftershocks.

"I love you Kendall Donald Knight."

"And I you, James Marcus Diamond."

They moved around on the bed and curled up next to each other, Kendall yawning and closing his eyes. _It __feels __so __good __being __wrapped __in __Jamie__'__s __arms__._ He thought as he drifted to sleep.

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><p>Review and tell me how bad I am at smut.<p>

The Apathy Imp


	3. Self Insert Derpiness

Still don't own Big Time Rush. Oh and my name is pronounced "Trace".

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><p>Logan was by the pool on a particularly hot day in LA, fanning himself and groaning just slightly. "Why is it so fucking hot out here today?" he asked himself, jumping slightly as he felt a cold sensation on his shoulder and a voice chuckled at him.<p>

"You're so sexy when you curse Logie." said the other teen, plopping down onto the chaise next to the brunette after Logan took the popsicle. "As for your question, the way I understand it, a heat wave moved through, largely due to the changing world climates." He pulled his phone out and checked the weather once more, losing all train of thought when he looked back to Logan. "I-it... uh..."

Logan smirked just slightly around the popsicle that was literally halfway down his throat. He pulled it out with an obscene pop, and smirked wider. "Enjoyed the view Tres?" the blonde next to him could do nothing but nod and follow the path of the treat as it slowly traced down Logan's chest to the waistband of his decidedly too small speedo.

Luckily, there weren't too many people at the pool that day and they were reasonably alone.

"You are such a little tease." Tres said, eyes still fixed on the bulge in the brunette's speedo. He licked his lips and leaned over to slurp a drop of purple colored liquid off the braniac's abs.

Logan moaned quietly and practically whimpered as he pulled the blonde up from his stomach for a quick, but arousing kiss. "You're just easy to tease is all." he said, smirking, just as his band mates came out to the pool area.

The two slit apart reluctantly and looked over to where James was saying something about how beautiful he was, noticing that Kendall had one of those knowing smirks on his face.

"Hey guys." Said the blonde, waving and smiling as they walked over, James sitting down between Logan's legs and Kendall to Tres's right. Carlos looked between the two of them before deciding to sit down between Tres's legs, mimicking James actions and leaning against the blonde as he was wrapped in a pair of arms.

"So, Tres, what were you and Logan doing a minute ago?" Kendall asked, one bushy eyebrow raised, smirking once more.

Tres noticed Logan blush out of the corner of his eye and James' look of intrigue before shrugging. "Eh, just bonding." A smirk spread across his features as one of his hands swept his bangs out of his eyes. "I was just telling Logan that's he's a fucking tease, I'm sure you would have responded quite the same way to him deep-throating a grape popsicle."

He heard Logan choke on said popsicle and couldn't help but grin as Kendall's eyes widened just slightly. A moment later however, he was swatted in the back of the head.

"I can't believe you just told them that!" Logan said looking rather less upset than one would have expected.

Tres merely shrugged. "Meh, they'd have found out eventually anyway. Besides," here he leaned over and whispered in the brunette's ear. "I think Kenny's got a boner now."

Logan forgot that he was supposed to be upset and smirked, "I bet I can turn James on faster than you can Carlos."

Tres's smile widened to the point of being obscene. "You're on, first one to get a moan wins, and the loser has to be the winner's sex slave for three nights."

"Deal."

Tres sat back and puled Carlos closer up against his chest, leaning down to blow in the Latino's ear, beginning to nip and suck on his neck moments later.

"T-tres, what're you doing?" Carlos asked, even as he leaned his head to the side to allow the blonde more access.

"Just playing around." the blonde singsonged against the supple tan flesh under his care. "Don't pretend you don't love it." He added as one of his hands found its way to the Latino's right nipple, tweaking it just a bit.

Carlos gasped slightly. "H-hah, I do, but w-we're at t-the po-" he was cut off by a moan and Tres stopped just long enough to smirk over at Logan, who was pouting slightly, while James looked as if he had melted into a puddle of heavenly goo.

The hand that wasn't occupied slowly slid down Carlos' body, stopping to hover just above the waistband of his trunks, but just as he was about to slide it the last couple of inches to palm the bulge that had formed in them he felt someone grab his wrist.

"Guys, we're at the pool. And I think Bitters is getting angry about all the PDA..." Kendall was always the voice of reason and Tres knew he was right, he sighed and stopped his ministrations, smiling when Carlos whined quietly at the loss of contact.

"You're right of course Kenny. We'll just have to continue this later, 'kay Carlitos?"

Carlos nodded, looking entirely too sexy with a pout on his face. "O-okay."

"Dammit Carlos, you know I can't resist you when you make that face." said the blonde, kissing him suddenly.

Carlos moaned into the kiss, but broke away a few moments later. "Kendall's right, we need to stop."

Tres sighed again, but nodded, looking over to where James was laying in Logan's arms, mouth slightly open, chest heaving and face flushed over Logan's treatments.

"Oy, you too James and Logan, I don't want to get kicked out of the pool!"

Logan let out a small "eep" and stopped, nodding bashfully. "S-sorry Kenny, we got a little carried away."

Kendall merely shook his head and muttered something that sounded a lot like "I have the four craziest boyfriends."

The rest of the day was spent lounging around and trying to escape the heat, finally resulting in the five of them retreating up to 2J in a last ditch attempt to avoid the weather. Luckily, the recently broken air conditioner had been repaired earlier that day and they all collapsed in different areas of the greatroom.

Tres was on the long part of the couch with James literally half on top of him, while Kendall and Logan had their faces pressed to the glass table and Carlos was in the kitchen, head in the refrigerator, trying to find god knows what.

"Hey, Carlos, what are you doing in there?" asked Logan not even raising his head off the table.

"This!" he exclaimed happily and he pulled himself from the fridge and showed them the pudding cup he had extricated from within its depths.

"Oh... and here I thought it was something we could all enjoy." sighed James dropping his head back down onto Tres's chest a moment later.

"I dunno Jamie, watching Carlos eat pudding is pretty hot..." said the blonde, one hand playing idly with a strand of James' hair.

The brunette merely hummed and Tres smiled as he noticed James lulling into sleep, but he knew he shouldn't let the pretty boy nap, or he would be up all night, almost definitely begging for sex. "Jamie-bear, you can't go to sleep or we'll all be up all night."

James groaned and snuggled farther into the blonde's chest, refusing to stay awake.

Tres sighed and shook his head. "Don't say I didn't warn you..." he grabbed onto James' hair and pulled just hard enough to wake the other teen back up, smirking down at him.

"H-hey! There was no reason to hurt the hair."

The smirk widened just slightly. "I wouldn't say 'no reason', besides, I know you love it when you have your hair pulled."

James blushed and muttered something like "s-shut up".

Tres pulled again, this time a little softer, and brought James farther up his body so that they could kiss.

They were broken apart only a few moments later by the sound of the front door opening and closing. James of course refused to get off of the blonde, but they stopped kissing, Tres leaning his head back to look at the door and smiling at Katie.

"Ugh, could you guys not do that all over the couch. I wanna watch TV."

James stuck his tongue out and resolutely refused to move.

She just shrugged. "Fine." and with that, she sat down on his back, earning a grunt each from the two boys.

"How can something so small be so heavy?" James grunted again, earning a chuckle from the blonde underneath him.

"Because she's made of pure evil, it's almost as heavy as dark matter you know." He gasped as he felt a small hand slap his hip. "I regret nothing."

The door opened once more just as James pecked Tres on the lips. They heard Mama Knight sigh and a moment later she said, "Katie, get off of them. And you two, stop it with the PDA."

They blushed as they stood, Katie smirking just slightly.

"S-sorry Mama Knight." They said, sitting down on the couch next to each other, hands entwined.

Katie stuck her tongue out at them before turning back to the television.

A few minutes later Mama Knight called Katie into the kitchen, and Tres looked over to where she was cooking, turning back to the TV just in time to notice a news report about some skinny dippers who had been arrested somewhere in LA.

He smirked and pulled out his phone, sending a text out to the other boys.

_Just got the best idea. =3_

He waited patiently as he saw them all check their phones, Logan looking a little perplexed as he typed back.

The replies were all a variation of "Oh? What is it?" except for Logan's, which read:

_Oh god, that's your "I've got a plan" face... that almost always ends BADLY._

He giggled as he saw this and sent Logan a quick reply, basically telling him to just wait.

Next, he composed another group message.

_So, we've not got anything to do tomorrow, and I've always wanted to try this._

_Skinny dipping at midnight._

James of course thought this was the best idea anyone had come up with in forever and immediately agreed, "Let's do it." he said, not even noticing the odd look he got from Katie.

Kedall pulled a face, but sent a reply.

_I dunno, that might be dangerous..._

Carlos also agreed almost instantaneously.

_Sounds like fun!_

Logan would be the hard case to crack, and Tres knew that if he could get the smarter boy in on it, Kendall would quickly follow, so he ignored Kendall's message for the moment.

Just as he had suspected, Logan was protesting.

_That's a horrible idea! What if we get caught? What if Mama Knight finds out and kills us? WHAT IF GUSTAVO FINDS OUT._

Tres bit back a giggle.

_How will either of them figure it out? Besides, Bitters is the only who could catch us, and he's the heaviest sleeper in the history of sleeping._

He saw Logan frown, but recognized the sparkle in the brunette's eye.

_It could still be really dangerous..._

The blonde shook his head slightly, smiling devilishly.

_Oh come on Logie, live a little! If we don't do this kind of thing now before we're on our own, we won't ever. I know at least part of you wants to._

He saw Logan sigh, and knew he had won.

_Alright, but if we get in trouble, I'm holding you personally responsible._

He smirked again.

_Deal._

_And now, Kendall..._ he thought to himself, biting his lip slightly as he looked at his phone's touch screen.

_It's not like we'll get caught Knight, besides, don't you wanna live on the edge?_

Kendall pulled another face.

_You know I hate it when you call me that... And not if it means being arrested or kicked out or caught with my pants down. Literally._

The look of amusement that crossed the blonde's face was priceless.

_You always like it when I catch you like that. There's some sexy fun in it for you if you agree._

Kendall literally groaned.

_Sometimes I hate how well you know me. Alright, but I'm not taking any kind of responsibility for this if we get caught._

The smirk was back in full force.

_I wouldn't dream of asking you too. Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes, k?_

The other blonde looked a little confused.

_Uhm... okay..._

Tres slipped him phone back into his pocket and layed his head on James' shoulder, getting up at the next commercial to head toward the boys' shared bathroom.

He smiled at himself in the mirror, frowning just slightly at the yellow coloring of his teeth. "Ugh, I hate my teeth." he groaned quietly and reached for his toothbrush, smiling when he heard the door open, just as he finished brushing.

He turned and pulled Kendall close, making sure to reach behind him and flip the lock on the door. "Hey sexy." he purred, placing a kiss on the taller teen's neck.

"Hey." Kendall leaned down and captured Tres's mouth in a kiss, moaning just slightly as he felt the shorter blonde's hands grip his ass.

When they broke for air, Tres smirked up at him, giving his ass one more squeeze. "You're so fuckin' hot Knight."

Kendall frowned slightly and leaned forward. "I told you not to call me that." he whispered in his lover's ear, biting down on the lobe a little harshly.

This earned him a quiet moan. "Oh god, I love it when you're forceful."

"Good." with that, he shoved the other teen up on to the counter and started attacking his neck.

Tres moaned and stretched his head to the side as far as it would go. "Fuck Kendall, _bite me_."

Kendall obliged happily, stop only just before breaking the skin.

Tres let out another moan as he felt the taller teen's teeth almost penetrate the thin outer layer of his body.

Kendall pulled back before he actually did bite through the skin and smirked when the other boy whimpered underneath him.

"K-kenny. God, Kendall, I _need _you. Now!" Moaned Tres desperately grinding up against Kendall's chiseled abs.

Kendall let out a small moan himself at the sensation of hard flesh rubbing against him and he nodded, kissing the smaller blonde once again, as one hand went to the tie on his board shorts and the other worked its way underneath the waistband of Tres's speedo.

"Fuck, this thing is so tight on you."

"T-that's why I like it." panted the smaller blonde, moaning again as he felt Kendall's hand on his length. "Shit Kendall, you're fucking amazing."

"I know." he growled out as his trunks fell off of his hips, freeing his erection to the air.

"And so fucking big. God. _Fuck me._" Tres moaned loudly as the speedo came off and Kendall began to pump his fist up and down the smaller blonde's dick.

"That was the plan." Kendall smirked again and pulled Tres a little farther off the counter so he could have access to the other teen's ass.

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><p>They emerged together, both looking disheveled, but very happy, about twenty minutes later.<p>

James smirked at them as they sat down at the table, nonchalantly brushing his hair off his shoulder, and pointing discreetly to an area on his own neck, clearly indicating the placement of a hickey on Tres's flesh.

The blonde felt himself blush just a little and looked down at his food, hoping that Mama Knight wouldn't notice.

"Tres, is your neck alright? You look like you got hit or something..." He groaned inwardly as he heard Katie say his name. _Dammit Katie, I'll get you for this._

"I'm fine. I don't know what it could be... I'll have to look at it later."

Mama Knight didn't even look up from where she was putting mashed potatoes on her plate. "Don't think I don't know what you two were doing in there, all I can say is that I hope you cleaned up."

Kendall nearly choked on the sip of juice he had just taken and Tres couldn't help but chuckle just a bit. "Y-yes ma'am we did." he said, rubbing Kendall's back to help soothe the small coughing fit the other blonde had developed.

After Kendall stopped coughing, he resolutely refused to look up and meet the gaze of Logan, who was sitting across from him.

Tres just smiled at the brunette when he was fixed with a questioning look. _I'll tell you later._ he said with his eyes, looking back to James when Logan minutely nodded.

"So, Jamie, didn't you mention a new song or something earlier?"

James looked confused for only a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I heard Gustavo say he was working on a new single for us..."

The blonde nodded and chewed on the end of his fork for a moment_. _"So do you know what it was supposed to be about?"

"No clue, I just heard him mention it to Kelly as I walked out." James shrugged and made a face at the blonde, asking _Why?_ with his eyes.

"Oh cool... I was just wondering, I thought you said something. Anyway, Katie, do you have any plans for tomorrow?"

She looked at him suspiciously and slowly shook her head. "...no... why?"

"I was just thinking about a little boy I've seen around, who seems to have a huge crush on you."

She glared at him just as Mama Knight looked up and smiled widely. "Really? That's great Katie! You should meet him!"

Katie smiled fakely at her mom and nodded. "Sure mom."

Her mother smiled again and went back to her food. "Good, Tres can you set it up?"

"Absolutely." he said, smiling devilishly at the small brunette next to him.

He was met with another glare which he ignored.

* * *

><p>After dinner, Katie retreated to her room with her laptop and the boys sat down to watch some TV, each of them curled up next to one another, with Tres' head in Kendall's lap.<p>

"You know, I really don't understand the allure of these stupid reality shows..." said Logan, frowning slightly as he flipped through the pages of the cable guide. "They're just so fake, and absolutely idiotic."

Tres giggled and smiled up at the Kendall when he was fixed with one of those "you're so cute when you do that" looks.

"Oh! Let's watch _1000 Ways to Die_!" squealed Carlos, pouting when Logan ignored his suggestion and kept looking.

"I hate that show, it's so graphic, to the point of being nasty, and honestly, I think they make half of those up."

Carlos frowned a little and Logan hugged him. "It's nothing against you Carlitos, I just really don't like it."

Carlos smiled and snuggled into Logan. "S'okay."

The remote was snatched out of the brainiac's hand by James and he flipped through the channels at a speed no one had seen before.

"Looking for something Jamie?" Asked Kendall, one bushy eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, I just remembered that the new episode of _Bad Girls Club_ is on."

They all groaned in unison.

"Not again James, that show is so _horrid_!" said Tres, rolling his eyes when the brunette ignored him and clicked on it anyway.

They all sighed and resigned themselves to their fate, Carlos and Kendall actually laughing a few times at the idiocy displayed on screen while Logan and Tres merely made derisive comments every few minutes.

Finally the show was over, and it was ten o'clock.

Mama Knight waved at them all as she headed to bed, at that point too tired to deal with them anymore.

"Goodnight Mama Knight!" Tres said, smiling at her as she hummed and shuffled out.

They all sighed slightly and looked outside, groaning when they saw the bright lights off the neon sign on the building across the street.

"This is so boring." Said Carlos, sighing and flopping over onto the shorter part of the couch.

James got one of those smirks on his face and looked around at them. "I know how we can make it less boring." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Tres shook his head. "I don't think sex is the answer right now Jamie."

Surprisingly, it was Logan who spoke up next. "I don't know, it could be fun..."

Kendall and Tres both did stage quality neck popping double-takes. "Wait... did Logan just... holy shit, the sky must be falling."

"Oh ha ha. Come on, I'm serious, I've been horny all day, and I know James has too." he winked at the other brunette, who slid closer to him and placed one hand on his thigh.

"I bet Carlos isn't doing so well either... you and I are the only one's who've gotten laid today Kenny."

"True..."

Tres smirked up at the blonde and wiggled his head a little in Kendall's lap, the smirk widening just slightly as he felt the other teen's dick swell slightly. "I'll take that as a 'yes'." He giggled and stood up, walking over to the Latino and straddling him.

"Hey there Carlitos." He giggled and ground his hips down into the bulge he felt in the other teen's jeans. "I got you all hot and bothered, didn't I?"

He nodded and whimpered a little, thrusting up against Tres' ass. "Ever since this afternoon at the pool."

"Well, I'll just have to do something about that then won't I..?" he smirked and slowly leaned down, pausing when their lips were just a few inches from each other and looking into the chocolate pools of the smaller boy's eyes. "You're eyes are so pretty..." he said, gasping slightly as he felt the dark-haired teen grip his hips.

"So are yours." Carlos closed the space between them and kissed Tres as if his life depended on it.

* * *

><p>You know what? Fuck this, I quit, this is making my head hurt and sucking my life, so I'm stopping it here. I might come back to it later, but for now y'all just get some derpy self insert and sexy make out scenes.<p>

Review and tell how stupid I am for self-inserting.

K bye.


	4. Concert Yumminess

Don't own BTR... this could be show-verse of the IRL, it doesn't really matter...

The boys were readying for their next concert, and Kendall had just been fitted with his monitors, and was waiting for the techs to finish up with Logan and James, having to look away when the admittedly handsome boy had to put his hands close to Logan's ass to get the box hooked up properly. _He__'__s__just__doing__his__job__Kendall__, __there__'__s__not__reason__to__be__jealous__._ He thought to himself, letting out a deep breath, still he was glad when they finished and Logan immediately walked over to hug and nuzzle him.

"Hey baby." He said, smiling and briefly kissing the other teen, forgetting everything around them except the feeling of having Logan in his arms. He looked over at where James and Carlos were in a similar position, smiling at James when he looked at them. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He added, taking Logan's hand as they waited for the cue to go on.

They slowly lined up into their positions, Kendall dropping Logan's hand at literally the last second he could.

They got through the majority of the concert without incident, and they had just finished Worldwide, and were taking a small break to cool down and get some water. He checked to make sure he was out of view of the audience before he smiled over at Logan and mouthed "I love you."

Logan smiled back and held his hands up in heart formation, chuckling when he heard some of the fans cheer.

Kendall debated with himself for just a second before he strode back into view and over to Logan, leaning over and speaking in his ear. "Logan, I'm tired of hiding... I want to share our love with the world."

Logan looked a simultaneous confused and scared. 'I... do too, but Kendall what if we get fired..?"

Kendall frowned and then smirked. "I've got an idea."

He turned from Logan and walked out toward the front of the stage, bringing his mic up and asking, "are you having fun tonight?"

He laughed as the stadium erupted with screams and he waved his arms. He waited until the noise died down before speaking. "So you guys, I have a question. Let's say that hypothetically there was a pair of couples, and because they were famous and worked for a big company they were told they weren't allowed to share their love with the world, do you think that's fair?" He saw James look a little frantic before he walked over and stood next to Carlos, face set in a determined scowl.

Somewhere backstage someone started to freak out and run around saying. "Oh shit, what do I do, _what__do__I__do_?"

Kendall looked out over the audience, a small smirk in place. Some of the fans were making faces like "oh. my. god. he's kidding... right?" and others were like "holy shit yessssssss." but the verbal answer to his question was a resounding "NO!" and he smiled.

"Right? You should never be forced to hide your love, and you should never be ashamed of being gay, or bi, or even straight!" He said something else, but his mic had been killed so he shrugged and tossed it down, turning and striding up to Logan proudly, kissing him deeply and passionately.

Logan's arms lid around his neck and they were soon making out with each other deeply, Kendall smiling mentally at the loud cheers of support from the fans. When they finally broke for air, he turned and smiled, holding Logan's hand proudly. He saw that James and Carlos had acted similarly, and were in fact still kissing. Cameras went off throughout the stadium and Kendall smiled.


	5. Kogan's Skinny Dipping Fluff Fest

Still don't own BTR. T_T As the title implies, it's pure fluff, and involves skinny dipping. 3

Kendall smiled to himself and got up to go meet his boyfriend for their little trip. He stopped to shimmy out of his jeans and slip on his swim trunks, shedding his shirt and grabbing his towel.

He walked out into the living room and smiled at Logan, who looked up at him, staring just slightly at Kendall's exposed chest. "Hey, you ready to go?" he asked, smirking a little when Logan blushed slightly.

"Not yet, just give me a minute." Kendall nodded his head with a smile and watched Logan put his laptop down and scurry back to his room, coming out a minute later wearing his swim trunks and carrying a towel. He held the door open for the brunette and closed it behind them, wincing slightly as it made a pretty loud noise in the midnight quiet of the hall.

"Shit, what if they heard us?" Logan asked, referring to James and Carlos.

Kendall shrugged, "let them, it's not like we're doing anything wrong..." He saw Logan nod, but could tell he was still slightly bothered by the current state of their friendship with the other two boys. "Hey, this isn't your fault, and we said that just for the next couple of hours, we're going to focus on us, we'll worry about helping Carlos, and arguing with James, and whatever else _in__the__morning__._" he smiled and put a finger under the other boy's chin, when Logan's chocolate pools met his own emerald, he felt that spark again, and knew he was making the right decision. "Everything is going to work out eventually, let's just do something for ourselves, just for tonight." Logan smiled at him and Kendall leaned over to kiss Logan, just as the elevator let out a soft ding and the doors slid open. They walked hand in hand out into the lobby, Kendall holding the door open for Logan and following him over to a pair of lounge chairs on the left hand side of the pool.

He smirked at Logan and watched as then teen slowly stripped off his shirt, and began to play with the tie on his trunks, suddenly very shy. "Oh come on, it's not like I haven't seen you naked before." He slowly walked over to Logan, resting his hands on the smaller boy's hips. "Hey, we don't have to do this if you're not comfortable."

"I want to, it's just... what if we get caught?" Logan shook his head. "It'll be kind of hard to explain why we're naked in the pool together at nearly midnight."

"We were just starting to change back into our clothes when you stumbled and fell in, I jumped in after you to save you." Kendall smirked and leaned down to gently kiss Logan's temple. "Besides, we won't get caught, Bitters sleeps like a log, and no one else is going to be out at this hour."

Logan nodded his head gently against Kendall's chest, not really wanting to pull back from the comfort of the taller boy's arms. "You always know what to say to reassure me, not matter what."

Kendall smiled and kissed Logan's cheek. "You just don't realize how strong, and beautiful you actually are."

Logan blushed and pushed himself out of Kendall's arms, untying his trunks and slowly letting them drop off his hips, exceedingly aware of the blonde's eyes on him.

Just as he turned to jump in the water, he felt a hand grab his arm gently and he looked back, finding himself not only lost in Kendall's intense eyes, but also captivated by his now naked body.

"You're beautiful Logan, never forget that, okay?"

Logan felt himself blush again and nodded, turning around to properly face Kendall and look him straight in the eye. "And you're perfect Kendall, don't even let anyone tell you different." He leaned up and pressed his lips to Kendall's, feeling their skin brush against each other and letting out a quiet sound of contentment. "Now come on, we came down here to skinny dip." He giggled a little wiggled out of Kendall's arms again, stepping effortlessly off the side of the pool into the water.

Kendall followed slowly, sliding himself down into the pool and shaking his head. "I'll never understand how you do that."

Logan shrugged and swam up to him. "Just something I started doing." He stopped and leaned up to Kendall's ear. "Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you."

Kendall nodded slowly, and did as told, though he looked rather confused. "Logan what're yo-" he was interrupted very suddenly as he felt an entirely new sensation on his cock, it was different enough to being with, having it flowing around in the water, but then suddenly there was a velvety warmth over it and he gasped. His eyes shot open and he looked down, instantly becoming harder under the water when he saw Logan's head underneath, bobbing just slightly on his dick. "Holy shit." He was glad that he had been against the wall and relaxed slightly, letting his head fall back and letting out a soft moan.

Logan came up for air only a few seconds later, and smirked at Kendall. "I had thought you might like that."

Kendall nodded and reached out to pull Logan flush against him. "Damn Logan, you're a little minx, aren't you."

Logan's smirk widened. "Oh, you have no idea." He purred, grinding against Kendall just slightly, nipping at the blonde's ear as he felt the hardening flesh become more rigid.

Kendall's eyes clouded over with lust and the next thing he knew, they were kissing like their lives depended on it, Logan simultaneously thinking that he never wanted to be without that feeling and that he needed to surprise Kendall more often.

Kendall rotated them around so that Logan was underneath him against the wall of the pool, hands roaming over every inch of skin they could reach.

When he pulled back for air he looked into Logan's eyes. "I love you Logan." He said, eyes speaking volumes more and expressing everything he loved about the brunette.

Logan felt a tear drop from his eye and he leaned forward to press his lips to Kendall's gently. "I love you too Kendall, more than everything in the world."

Kendall's right hand cupped Logan's face and he very gently brushed his thumb across the track of Logan's tear, kissing the corner of his eye a moment later.

They fell into a comfortable silence and just held each other in their arms. Kendall nuzzled against the hollow between Logan's neck and clavicle, listening to the other boy's heartbeat and letting his mind wander. "Logan..." he stopped and swallowed thickly. "I uhm... I can't imagine life without you Logan. Promise me you;ll never leave me?" He sounded kind of like a clingy 14 year-old girl, but he didn't even care. The idea of being without Logan scared him too much.

Logan smiled the crooked, knowing smile of his and took Kendall's face in his hands. "I promise Kendall. I'm never letting you go."

Kendall's face lit up and he pulled Logan into his arms, "Good, because I wouldn't let you go without the fight of my life." They spent a few more minutes just cuddling on the side of the pool before Kendall decided to move around a little, swimming out to the end farthest from Logan and smiling widely. "I love you." He mouthed, before diving underneath the water and sneaking up on Logan from underneath, tickling his hips.

Logan giggled and proceeded to chase Kendall around the pool, their race ending in a splash war. Finally they had tired themselves out and they climbed out of the pool an hour later, smiling contentedly as they dressed, returning to the apartment slowly, with Kendall's arm around Logan's shoulders and Logan's around the blonde's waist.

Kendall walked Logan to his and Carlos' room and kissed the other boy goodnight. "I love you Logan."

"I love you, too, Kendall." Logan stole one last kiss before turning and walking through the door.

Kendall stood at the door and smiled, slowly turning and walking into his own room. _Every__thing__'__s__gonna__be__alright__, __I__just__know__it__._


	6. Drops of Crimson

A/N: I don't own BTR, cautting warning, morbid use of the english language, probably derpessive.

* * *

><p>Kendall tapped out a beat on the side of his laptop, trying to decide if he really wanted to do what the angry sadistic part of him was aching to do.<p>

And then the post from Logan showed up.

_I __don__'__t __even __know __who __to __trust __anymore__..._

Kendall groaned and his face fell. _Fuck__._

He checked his messages, dreading when he saw that Logan had sent him one. He knew he couldn't lie to the brunette, he was worth more than that.

_Did __something __happen __last __night__?_

He took his time in picking his words, not that he ended up with much.

_I __uhm__... __got __drunk__... __I __guess __James __told __you __what __I __said __then__..?_

He bit his lip and waited for the reply, clicking and frowning again when he saw the other boy's message.

_Yeah__. __Thanks __a __lot__, __Kendall__. __I __know __no __one __wants __me__, __but __hearing __it __from __one __of __my __best __friends __is __really __hard __to __handle__._

He frowned even worse as he read this and quickly responded.

_I __never __said __I __didn__'__t __want __you__. __Is __that __what __he __told __you__? __I __did __not __for __a __second __say __that__!_

His lip was getting a little bit of abuse as he waited again for the reply.

_Whatever__, __Kendall__. __I __don__'__t __know __what __to __believe__._

Kendall was stunned, he knew he had said some hurtful things, but... did Logan really hate him that much?

He didn't really wait for an answer, either from himself or from whatever forces in the universe might have been listening and instead got up from his bed, leaving the computer laying there like it had been abandoned in the middle of something.

He walked slowly into the bathroom attached to his room, closing and locking the door. He walked across to make sure the door adjoining it James' room was also locked then looked at himself in the mirror, barely supporting himself with his hands against either side of the sink. He looked drawn, eyes slightly sunken with dark circles underneath them.

The Kendall in the mirror seemed to be mocking him, and he was apt to just lie down in the tub and cry, but some defiant "manly" part of him wouldn't let him, so instead he opened the medicine cabinet and moved James' hair products out of the way of the small box he had stashed behind them. He slid open the plastic lid and picked up the razor blade he had put in it long ago.

His friends never questioned why he always wore long sleeves-being from Minnesota helped with that-which was fortunate since it allowed him to hide the scars he had been slowly acquiring.

Yeah sure from outside it looked like Kendall had the prefect life, a really cool mom, three awesome best friends, a great little sister, fame, money, a nice car, pretty much everything he could ask for, but something was missing. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he knew it had started when his dad had left. What's a ten year old boy supposed to do when the dad he cared so much for, and so looked up to just up and left them, without any warning, at least not any that he could understand?

It had gotten progressively worse as he got older, at first he had just bit his nails, then when his mother had forced him to drop that habit, he had started to crack his knuckles when he got nervous, or sad; but his mother had quickly forced that to stop as well. Finally he had found a way he could make himself feel better without burdening those around him. It had started out slow, the first time really did _hurt_, but up until right before the boys had moved out to LA, he had gotten in the habit of doing it almost every day, sometimes even twice a day. It had been the move out to Hollywood that had almost broken him of the habit, but he still did it occasionally when he needed to soothe himself.

Now was one of those times, he had promised himself he wouldn't drink again, at least not until he sorted this mess with his feelings for James and Logan out, so he pulled back his left sleeve and placed the blade against his skin, wincing slightly and letting out a quiet hiss as he pushed down and dragged it a few centimeters up his flesh.

He held his arm over the sink and watched the blood slowly drip out of the wound and around his arm, wondering why his vision had gotten blurry and suddenly realizing it was from the tears that had started to fall from them.

* * *

><p>This kind of got away from me. So... yeah. Hope you liked it...<p> 


	7. Big Time Charmed

**Beginning ****Notes****: **Still don't own BTR; this is one of those "plot bunnies that got away". I like the idea, but the actual implementation could use some work. Enjoy if you can.

* * *

><p>Kendall groaned and sat up in bed, eyes straying to the harsh red glare of his bedside clock. It read 11:40 and he flopped back, letting out a frustrated sigh. <em>Why <em>_can__'__t __I __sleep __tonight__?_ He wondered to himself, moment later rising and wandering out into the hall, biting his lip as he thought about going to wake his prettiest friend, then shaking his head. _James __will __kill __me __if __I __interrupt __his __beauty __sleep__._ Instead he wandered farther down to Logan's room, smiling slightly when he saw the light under the brunette's doorway.

He knocked quietly and said, "Logie? Are you up?" smiling as he heard the other boy move to come to the door.

"Kendall?"

He nodded, noticing the slightly perplexed look on his friend's face. "Yeah... I uh can't sleep, and wanted a little company..."

Logan smiled at that and stepped aside, closing the door quietly behind the blonde.

Kendall glanced around, smiling vaguely as he noticed how the other teen's room looked just like it had back in Minnesota.

"So, what are you up to?" He asked as he sat down on Logan's bed, watching as the other boy picked up his laptop and came to join him.

"I was just doing a little research on Wicca."

Kendall's eyebrows rose, "Really? I wouldn't have pegged you as the witchy type Logie."

Logan shrugged and placed the computer on the blonde's lap. "I was just bored I suppose... but I found this... it's... really specific"

Kendall pulled a face and looked at the screen. His eyes widened just slightly as he read the text. "... yeah, specific is one word for it..." he trailed off and glanced over at the other teen.

"Kendall... I think it means us."

"I don't think it could mean anyone else. But that raises the question of why there's a hyper-specific prophecy about us, and what we're supposed to do with it..."

"Scroll down a little."

Kendall nodded slowly and did so. "Oh."

"Yeah, that's... some kind of power awakening spell."

"So, what, we're supposed to be this proverbial... Power of Four and save the world?"

"Seems like it..."

Kendall looked back at the screen and pulled another face. "Logan, I don't think this is a good thing..."

"How bad could it be Kendall? Besides, if it's not meant for us, nothing will happen."

"I... Magick doesn't really work like that Logie..."

"Yes it does! I've been doing all of this research, and everything I've read tells me that doing the spell will only work if we are the Four, and if we're not then it won't do anything at all."

Kendall bit his lip, then shook his head. "Well fine, but don't we need Carlos and James to do this too?"

"Nope. It says only half of the Quartet has to be present to invoke the spell."

There was a lengthy pause as Kendall reread the text and chewed his lip thoughtfully.

"... alright, if you promise it won't do anything unless we really _are_ the Quartet, then I'll do it with you."

"I promise you." Logan smiled and picked up the computer, moving to sit on the floor and patting the spot next to him.

_What __am __I __getting __myself __into__?_ the blonde asked himself, still he slid down onto the carpet and settled next to his best friend.

"So what do we need to do?" he asked as the brunette shoved the computer a few inches farther from them and scooted a little closer.

"We should just have to read the words aloud."

He nodded and nudged the corner of the laptop to adjust his viewing angle, then looked over at Logan and sighed. "It's now or never, eh?"

"Yeah." Logan smiled and held out his hand to the blonde. Kendall hesitated for just a moment before he clasped the smaller teen's proffered hand.

_Hear __now __the __words __of __the __witches__,_

_The __secrets __we __hid __in __the __night__._

_The __oldest __of __Gods __are __invoked __here__,_

_The __great __work __of __Magick __is __sought__._

_In __this __night __and __in __this __hour__,_

_We __call __upon __the __Ancient __Power__._

_Bring __your __powers __to __we __protectors __four__!_

_We __want __the __power__! __Give __us __the __power__!_

As they finished the chant, there was a whooshing noise, and the two of them felt themselves suddenly filled with energy, a buzzing type of power they had never felt before.

"Uhm... Kendall... do you feel all..?"

"Tingly?"

"Yeah, and energized."

"Yep."

Logan's face lit up and he stood and rushed to the door, stopping to flip the light out and open the door slowly.

Kendall frowned slightly and followed him into the greatroom, eyes slowly adjusting to the dark. "Logan, what are you doing?" he hissed out, rolling his eyes when he got no response.

The brunette waved him over into the kitchen and pointed at a glass in the sink. "I want to try out our powers. It said one of us would be able to move things with our mind, one would be able to teleport, one would be see the future and one would have the power to freeze time." He pointed his finger at the glass and concentrated, obviously trying to move it with his mind. After a moment he sighed and stepped back. "You try."

"Uhm... okay." The blonde held out his hand and thought of the glass rising up and floating to him.

Nothing happened and he sighed. "Well, that was a nope." He shook his head and turned to look at Logan, who just smiled.

"Three more to try out. Here catch!" He threw an apple at his blonde friend, who flinched and threw up his hands.

The fruit bounced off of his hands harmlessly and he glared at his friend who shook his head again and smiled. "I'm gonna try and teleport." Logan closed his eyes and concentrated, literally disappearing in a flash of white light and reappearing a few inches above the couch a moment later. He let out a surprised "umph" as he hit the orange cushions and jumped up a moment later, all smiles.

"Wow. That's kind of awesome." Kendall bent down to pick up the apple and paused when he saw a small shiny object. "Huh, what's that?" He picked it up and looked closer, noticing it was an earring, one a guy would wear by the looks of it. He noticed it was a teal color and had small rings of black around it, getting wider the thinner the tapered cone got.

A moment later he gasped as if in slight pain and closed his eyes.

_It __was __the __next __morning__, __everyone __had __just __gotten __up __for __breakfast __and __James __rushed __in__, __fully __dressed __and __looking __for __something __frantically__. "__Have __any __of __you __seen __my __other __teal __and __black __striped__ 12?" __he __asked__, __as __he __searched __all __of __the __surfaces __in __the __room__._

Kendall opened his eyes and let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. "I think I know what my power is..."

Logan quirked an eyebrow and walked over to him. "Oh?"

"Yep, I'm pretty sure I just had a vision of the future, tomorrow morning to be exact."

Logan grinned again. "That's so cool!"

"Shhhh! Keep it down, or do you want James to kill us for interrupting his beauty sleep?"

Logan just chuckled and helped his friend stand back up. "Oh we'll be fine."

"So... if I have the precognition power, and you can teleport... that means James and Carlos can freeze time and move things... I'm not sure how I feel about those two having that kind of power..." Kendall said slowly, frowning just slightly as he placed the earring on the counter next to the fruit bowl.

Logan just smiled wider. "I think you'd be surprised how well they can handle responsibility."

The blonde shrugged vaguely and looked at the clock on the wall, groaning slightly. "Logie, it's almost two in the morning... wait... that can't be right..." he pulled a face and looked closer, frowning when the image of the clock wavered slightly in his vision. "Whoa, that was weird... I think it's time for bed Logan."

The brunette nodded slowly and let out a small yawn. "Probably a good idea." He said, a little blearily.

Kendall smiled and shook his head, slinging an arm around his friend's shoulder and leading him to bed.

* * *

><p>The next morning Kendall awoke oddly refreshed considering his late night adventure with Logan, though part of him almost thought it couldn't have actually happened. He was rudely proven wrong, however, as he started to put on his clothes after his shower. Logan teleported into his room unannounced, yelping and turning around when he saw Kendall's state of undress.<p>

"Ack! Sorry Kendall!" He said, not daring turn back around.

Kendall smirked and decided to have just a little fun, even as a voice in his head told him to stop, Logan was one of his best friends. "It's fine Logie." he said, padding up behind the brunette. "It's not like we haven't seen each other naked before."

He smirked again and slid his arms around the brunette's waist. "I've seen the way you look at me when you think no one's paying attention." He said quietly in the shorter teen's ear.

He heard Logan audibly gulp and some part of him took great pleasure in it. "Tell me you want me Logan." He whispered against the shorter boy's ear smirking as he felt Logan shiver.

"K-Kendall what're you doing..?" Logan gasped slightly as he felt Kendall's hand slide very slowly up underneath his t-shirt.

"I don't hear you telling me what I want to hear..." Kendall sing-songed into Logan's ear quietly, hand brushing across the small boy's well defined abs.

Logan shivered again and put his hands on Kendall's arms. "Kendall, I..." the brunet trailed off and pushed Kendall's hands down off of him. He turned himself around in the taller boy's arms and looked up into the emerald pools of desire, and confidence that Kendall was so well manipulating to make Logan melt. _Oh__fuck__it__._ He thought and then did something which mildly surprised himself; he kissed Kendall.

Kendall was a little surprised by the act, but was soon pressing his lips back against Logan's; they spent a short time like that, kissing and exploring the feeling of each other's bodies and mouths before they broke apart.

They were both breathing hard and looked into each other's eyes for a few silent moments, before Kendall spoke again. "I... wow Logan, that was..."

"Yeah..."

* * *

><p><strong>Ending <strong>**Notes****: **DUN DUN DUN. CIFFHANGERY. And honestly, it's probably never getting resolved... I might come back to this idea eventually, the idea of BTR with magic powers entices me a lot, but this needs to go into the oneshot file and stop mocking me. =D

Review and tell me if it's stupid or whatever.


	8. Jagan Limo Smut

**Disclaimer:** still don't own BTR. T_T

* * *

><p>James was feeling rather proud of himself. Not only had he successfully wooed his genius best friend, but he had also diverted Kendall and Carlos' attention so that he and Logan could spend some time alone.<p>

They were head to some party or another, and honestly, after four months of dating, James was tired of the constant frivolity of having to deny Logan was his boyfriend. He treasured every moment he got with the smaller brunet, and loved the stolen touches they had gotten in the night. It wasn't very long after their relationship had started when they had had sex, and now they were aware of each other's bodies and the growing amount of sexual frustration between them, painfully aware.

The driver of the limo had graciously closed the separation between him and the boys, shooting James a knowing look in the mirror as it rose. They had spent the first half of the ride kissing and touching, but nothing too heavy, they did after all have to go to a party.

A few moments later, Logan pulled away and stood up to stretch the top half of his body out of the sunroof, wanting for some air, but also just to observe the view of LA as it rushed by. The sheer amount of neon and chrome still fascinated the smart brunet, and so he was entranced by the flashing lights and shining buildings.

James sighed a little to himself, but he did love how adorable Logan was when he was so entranced by the view, so instead of pulling the other boy back down, he slid across the cabin so he could more properly see Logan's face through the sunroof.

He smiled fondly as Logan's gaze slid from sign to sign and building to building, looking almost like a child in a candy store. He spent a short time enjoying the excitement on Logan's face and then grew a little bored. His eyes slowly raked down Logan's body, perfectly imagining the body he knew lay just underneath the layers of clothing the brunet was wearing. He eyes halted when they slid to a stop on Logan's crotch, the other boy sporting an obvious boner.

"Fuck Logan." He said to himself, trying so hard to resist the urge to reach out and touch, but he had always had trouble keeping his hands off the other boy, and soon he was gently palming the braniac's impressive bulge through the fabric of his dress pants.

Logan's eyes widened and he looked down. "J-James, what're you d-doing?" He stuttered out, trying not to let out a moan as James continued to use his hand to press and pull at his erection.

"Well, we can't have you walking into a party with an obvious boner now can we?" James asked, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow quirking. Logan gulped and nodded, he knew that look, that was the look James got when he was turned on, and would most definitely _not_ take no for an answer. James grinned up at him and went back to his job, finding himself licking his lips and wanting to free Logan's erection from its confines.

He looked around to make sure the windows were up and the partition was still firmly in place before he slid his hand up and gripped the zipper in Logan's pants. Soon the zipper was down and James had delved his hand into the the brunette's pants, squeezing a little at the hard flesh he found there. Slowly he pulled the brunette's cock out through his fly, looking up at Logan and smirking when he noticed the slight blush dusting his cheeks.

He spent a short time pumping Logan's member before he smirked again and leaned forward, dropping his hand and letting his breath ghost against the tip of Logan's penis. The genius let out a small moan and his length pulsed, foreskin sliding back a little further down his erection from the pure pleasure he was experiencing.

This only proved to make James smirk widely and he leaned forward ever so slowly, wrapping his lips around Logan's member and sliding his tongue underneath the flap of skin on the other boy's length. James himself was cut, being half-Jewish and all, so Logan's foreskin had always fascinated him. He sucked slowly up and down the length, sliding his tongue around underneath the brunette's foreskin and smiling when he heard Logan let out a moan.

His hands gripped Logan's hips, and the other boy had his right hand tangled in James' hair as he went about blowing not only Logan's cock, but his mind as well. Logan actually felt his knees going a little weak occasionally and he was glad that James had a firm grip on his hips, because it was the only thing keeping him from sinking to his knees. "Gods, Jamie." He said, thrusting forward into the heat of James' mouth a little.

James hummed around Logan's length and relaxed his throat, sliding forward and swallowing the whole of Logan's cock. He moaned a little when Logan pulled his hair oh so gently and pulled back, very lightly scraping his teeth along Logan's cock and swirling his tongue around it.

Logan moaned into the night and thrust again, glad when he felt James take his whole length in, and then the taller boy _swallowed_ around his length and it was all he could do not to scream James' name and explode into his orgasm. Somehow he held it together, pulling at Jame's hair harsher than before so that he sat back. "Fucking hell James, I'm going to cum if you don't stop that!" He said, looking down just in time to see James smirk and literally _devour_ his cock. He let our a nearly explosive moan and that time he did come undone and shot one of the most intense orgasms of his life into James' welcoming mouth.

James swallowed Logan's seed, loving the taste as always, and stood up to stand out of the limo's sunroof with Logan. "Gods that was amazing." He groaned sliding his arms around Logan's waist, and not really caring who saw. "You're sexy as hell." He added as a purr into Logan's ear.

Logan was breathing hard and laid his head back to rest on James' shoulder as he slowly came down from his orgasmic euphoria. His blush increased tenfold when he was aware of himself a few moments later and he ducked back into the car, hands fumbling a little as he tucked himself back into his pants and zipped up.

James followed and chuckled at him, sliding up close next to him and throwing an arm around his shoulders.

Logan blushed even more when James got so close. "I can't even _fucking_ believe you just did that." He said.

James quirked an eyebrow, Logan cursing was a rare occurrence and it was interesting to see him like this, frustrated, satiated and all over flustered. "Fuck Logan, how could I resist?" He said, smirking. "You're just so damn sexy, and then you were there flaunting that sexy cock, all hard in your slacks like that." James bit his bottom lip slightly, eyes smoldering.

Logan looked away quickly, blushing again. "Stop it." He said, hands fidgeting. "Or you'll just turn me on again." He added quietly.

James let out a barking laugh and hugged the shorter boy. "Alright, but you better fucking expect round two later tonight."

Logan had assumed it, and was looking forward to giving James just as much pleasure as he had given Logan.

But now they had arrived and were climbing out of the car, having to pretend again that they were nothing more than best friends. James always played the part perfectly, but for Logan it was a struggle not to snuggle himself against Jame's side and break all of the rules.

* * *

><p><strong>Ending Notes: <strong>I don't usually write Jagan, but this was written as a fill for the BTR kink meme over on LJ, and I think you all probably enjoyed it. =3


	9. Dog Eared Page

**Author's Notes: **Two things; first, this was started as a collaboration with a good friend of mine, it didn't quite end that way, but it is nearly 50% my work, and 50% hers. I really like what happened here, it's one of my favorite, even though it took forever; and second, this was loosely inspired by the song _Dog Eared Page_ by The Matches. It's a good song, I'd suggest looking into it if you haven't heard it~. Enjoy the Kames lovely readers~.

* * *

><p>It had finally happened. James had finally left. Kendall couldn't really say he was surprised, or even angry, he had always known the other boy would pack up and leave him <em>eventually<em>, it was the brunette's dream to be famous after all, and Kendall himself wanted nothing more than to play for the hockey team of his dreams but now, in the moment where he had lost what was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him, he felt himself choking on his own breath as he waved one last time to retreating car that held his boyfriend.

It took all he had not to break down into tears when the limo turned a left and was lost from his sight. He turned and walked back into his mother's house, doing his best to smile when Katie hugged him and whispered, "he always loved you." to him.

He waved an offer for tea from his mother off and trudged slowly up the stairs to his room. He closed the door slowly and turned to face his room. His eyes, which had dried up on his way upstairs were suddenly filled with tears again as nearly everything he could see reminded him of the taller boy, who had just driven out of his life.

He threw himself onto his bed and buried his face in his pillows, doing his best not to let the tears fall. It took all of his willpower not to roll into a ball and sob until he couldn't feel himself anymore, but he knew that wouldn't help so instead he grabbed the remote to his stereo and pressed the play button.

A song he instantly recognized began to play and he let out a small gasping cry, finally letting the tears fall as the song played.

_I'm just a dog-eared page you turn back to._

_Where's the place for me_

_When we're both in love with you?_

"Fuck." He groaned out, not even having the energy to change it. "W-why did he even like this song anyway?" he gasped through his tears, burying his face into the black fabric of his pillowcase once more.

* * *

><p>James had always tried to convince himself that if it came down to Kendall and his dream of being famous, he'd pick Kendall. Of course, he kind of fancied himself as a better person than he probably was. And really, the dream had seemed nearly impossible when he laid down in bed and decided that Kendall was more important. If he would have known that a few months later, a crazy record producer would show up on his doorstep and virtually <em>beg <em>him to fly out to LA to record for him, he would have dropped that thought in an instant. Because, honestly, there wasn't a single person that James Diamond loved in the world more than himself.

Except it really was a shame that Kendall was so broken up about it. Kendall was a _super close _second to himself in James' mind and seeing Kendall like he'd been as the car pulled away almost made James decide against going. Almost, but not enough. Because, hello, this was _Hollywood_. Plus, the blond would have just insisted that he go anyway, right?

As hard as it was to do, James had managed to keep Kendall out of his mind the whole flight to LA. Hell, he'd managed to do it for three days until he was thrown into a recording booth to record some stupid love song (which didn't remind him of Kendall at all because Kendall wasn't dumb and mushy and girly about their relationship) and the producer was yelling at him about not doing the song right when the pretty assistant told him to think about being in love and then, oh, there was Kendall.

He spent the whole night wishing he was back in Minnesota, but had forgotten the whole thing in the morning when he was introduced to the actress that the record company had hired to pretend to be his girlfriend. Kendall who?

* * *

><p>It had taken him almost three months, at least two more nights of crying himself to sleep and one surprisingly painful slap form Katie, but Kendall had finally gotten over the hurt of James leaving him.<p>

His life had finally gotten back into something of a normal routine, and he had to say, he was glad for Logan and Carlos having been there for him, he knew that he had been _very_ annoying for at least the first two weeks after his pretty boy ex-boyfriend had left him, but the other two had taken the time out of their days, and even their own relationship to console and comfort him.

It was a reasonably normal day that he was spending with the two of them, on and off the ice in the rink, and just enjoying acting like a teenager for one of the last times they could when his phone rang.

He reached for it to answer it automatically and then froze, noticing the ring-tone, which he had changed in a fit of anger, or perhaps despair, to make sure he always knew when James was calling him. It was a small clip of that same song he had heard right after the taller boy had left him alone to go and chase his dream in Hollywood.

He stared at the screen, where the contact name, which still read _Jamie 3_, was flashing at him as the song clip played a few times over. Finally it stopped ringing, but he kept staring at it, thinking and regretting not having picked it up.

_I can't say I blame him for chasing his dream... not really anyway... I just... I fucking miss him, and... couldn't he have at least promised to come back, or asked me to go with him..?_

His thoughts were interrupted when Logan and Carlos came back from where they had gone to get the three of them corndogs. His phone was still in his hand as he looked up at the two of them, vaguely hearing Logan says something about how Carlos needed to read more, before the two of them looked down at him sitting on the bleachers.

He saw Logan's eyes flash between the probably distraught look on his face and his phone before the other boy dropped Carlos' hand and was by his side. He had his arms around Kendall and pulled him close against his chest, whispering something about how he was sorry.

That was all Kendall could process, and before he knew it, he was sobbing fresh tears against Logan's shirt and choking out broken sentences about how he missed his "Jamie-bear" so much.

Carlos stood behind his boyfriend, looking just a little awkward holding two and a half corndogs.

Nearly ten minutes later, Kendall had finally calmed down enough to stop sobbing and slowly pulled back from Logan's embrace, doing his best to smile. "I-I'm sorry guys..." He said quietly, looking down at his own feet.

"Kendall, you have nothing to be sorry for." Surprisingly, it was Carlos' voice that had spoken up first, and he was instantly on Kendall's other side. "You..." He stopped and frowned in thought, obviously pondering how to say what he was trying to express. "I think that you've been really strong... I don't think I would have been able to survive if Logie had left me the way that Ja-. Like that." The other two had gotten into the habit of not saying James' name around Kendall, and it didn't usually bother him, in fact, he appreciated it sometimes, but right then it deeply angered him.

"The way that _James_ did to me?" He practically growled at the Latino, shooting him an angry look and instantly regretting it when he saw Carlos practically cringe in fear. "I-I'm sorry." He stopped and looked back down at the floor. "I didn't meant to snap at you... I just... I know you've been trying to help, but... nothing is going to change that James picked Hollywood and fame and fortune and some blonde bimbo of a fake girlfriend over me and I just... can we at least try not to pretend it didn't happen..?" He said all of this only just loud enough for the other two to hear and they shared a look over his bent back before Logan laid a hand on his thigh, Carlos mirroring the action.

"Kendall, we just want to make this as easy as we can for you." Logan said, frowning a little when Kendall made an noncommittal noise and didn't really move.

It was around that time that Kendall saw that flashing light that indicated he needed to check his notifications on his phone, some part of him told him not to do it, but he ignored that part and did it anyway.

There were two new notifications for him to see, one was a voicemail, probably from when the brunet had called him earlier and another was an email from an address he didn't recognize, the subject line read only "Hi..._"_

He considered ignoring it, but something inside made him stop himself and he slowly tapped on the screen, frown deepening as he read the text of the message.

_Kendall,_

_I'm writing this because... well, I'm not sure exactly why I am, but... I guess I feel like I owe you an apology, or... some closure, or... well, I owe you way more than that, but I don't know what else to do._

_I've had lots of time to think in the last few months, most of it when I was being told I was "doing it wrong" or "have no talent", and I've realized I've done a lot of selfish, and some horrible, things in my life, but there's not a single one I regret._

_Well, I say not a single one, because really, it's more than one act. The only things that I can recall in my life that I now regret are the many times I've hurt you. I can't say I would take them all back, because honestly, from some of those times I got some pretty nice stuff, not to mention some damn good angry sex._

_I'm making even less sense in this stupid email than I usually do, but Kendall... I'm sorry. I can't take back what I did, and somehow, I doubt this will even get to you, but I really am sorry that what I've done has caused you pain._

_He'll probably deny it, and that's quite alright, but Logan has been looking out for you; he's sent me a lot of text messages, left me a few rather... creative voicemail, and even used his extensive knowledge of the English language as a weapon in a couple of emails._

_I never imagined that the spur of the moment, seemingly simple choice I made those months ago would have caused you so much pain._

_I'll never forget our time together Kendall, and I'll never forgive myself for leaving you, but you were, and always will be the best thing that has ever happened to me._

_I'll always be thinking of you,_

_James_

_P.S. Lauren, the girl the studio hired to pretend to be my girlfriend,_

He hadn't realised he had been reading out loud until a second voice joined his own. "Has always thought the story of our relationship was romantic and we've never done anything more than talk."

He turned slowly, and looked for the source of the voice he knew like his own heartbeat; even as he heard Logan gasp and his eyes locked with a pair of deep hazel he also could never forget, he couldn't believe it.

"I... I love you Kendall." The tall brunet said slowly, standing a few feet away, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

Kendall took in all of the boy he loved, and none of him in the same moment, still convinced that his mind must be playing tricks on him.

"I realise now that nothing can ever mean more to me than you do." James added, still not sure if Kendall even knew he was there.

Quiet fell between the four boys, and Logan and Carlos moved a few feet away in respect. Finally Kendall took a breath and stood slowly, turning to James properly.

"You fucking left me." He said quietly, almost matter-of-fact, and if James hadn't been straining to catch the blonde's every word, he wouldn't have heard it.

"Y-yeah..." he said slowly, not sure where Kendall was going with the train of thought.

"You left me here, so you could go be fucking famous, and then three months later you waltz back into my life and expect me to just, what? Hug you and tell you it's okay and to forget it ever happened?" Kendall's voice grew in volume and intensity as he spoke, and suddenly he was in James' face, practically screaming at him. "YOU FUCKING LEAVE ME HERE, _ALONE_, AND YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO BE UPSET?"

James looked almost like a deer caught in headlights and looked around for some kind of help, but the ice rink was empty save for the two of them, Carlos and Logan, who were standing feet away, hands clasped and obviously not coming to his aid.

"I didn't..." He began, then stopped and bit his lip. "I never meant to hurt you Kendall..." He said slowly, not sure what he really could say other than what he felt.

"Yeah well, you fucking did." Kendall said, only barely audible even in the near silence of the room.

* * *

><p>James had never had a lot of regrets. Sure, he messed up every now and then (a lot more often than he wanted to admit), but he was a pro at justifying his actions. Which totally didn't explain the gnawing feeling in the back of his mind that seemed a lot like guilt every time a couple walked by him or he heard something about hockey or even when he saw a blond walking past him. It was getting ridiculous.<p>

It had only taken a week for him to realize that he maybe, sort of, _kind of_ missed Kendall. He almost called the blond boy and apologized for everything that he'd probably done wrong so far in their relationship and everything that he'd do wrong in the future. Of course, it had never been easy for James to apologize. So while he was trying to work up the nerve to actually call, he got on good authority— well, Carlos told him, but the shorter boy never lied— that Kendall missed him, and so he decided that he'd just wait for the blond to call _him_.

Except before James knew it, it had been three months and Kendall never called. And the only way that he learned a thing about the blond was from what Carlos told him in passing conversation and from a mess of angry texts, voicemails and emails from Logan. Not that he had much time to lament about it while recording his _super amazing_ album and becoming _famous_.

After recording the final song on his album, yet another love song since that seemed to be all that "_the _Gustavo Rocque" was able to write, James finally thought he'd be able to go home and get a good night's sleep. The second that he actually started feel relieved, his fake girlfriend, Lauren, was ushered into the room with a stupid smile on her face so that they could go 'networking' at some stupid event thing.

And if anybody would have told James that trying to be famous was going to be this much work, he probably wouldn't have wanted it as much as he did.

There were waiters with trays of cheap champagne circulating throughout the party. James had never been much of a drinker and had only ever drank back home with his best friends, so he didn't know his limits all too well. Which led to him being more wasted than he probably ever had been. It was a good thing that he and Lauren were sitting because he was ninety-nine percent sure that his legs wouldn't have listened to whatever his head was trying to tell them to do.

He glanced at Lauren and with his hazy mind, she almost looked like Kendall because of course she _had_ to have blond hair and impossibly green eyes. He was just happy that the girl didn't have dimples because he didn't know if he'd be able to handle that.

He kept his gaze glued to Lauren for a few seconds until she cocked her head to the slightest degree and snapped James out of whatever trance he'd gotten himself into. He smiled at her, not entirely sure what he should say. He hadn't really spoken to the girl since they'd met and as smooth as he tried to make himself come off as, James was actually pretty awkward when it came to speaking to people that he hadn't known forever. "You've got, like, the second prettiest set of eyes that I've seen in my life," he blurted out. They didn't come close to Kendall's in his opinion, but they were definitely second.

Lauren offered him a soft smile and James didn't really understand why. It seemed like she was pitying him and girls didn't pity James Diamond. They fell at his feet. "Do the first belong your girlfriend back home?"

James let out an impossibly loud laugh at the thought. He'd never met a _girl _in Minnesota who came anything close to his standards. "No, no, no! My boyfriend… or ex… I think…?" He pouted for a second and tried to figure out the logistics of his and Kendall's relationship at the moment, but he couldn't process the information too well so he gave up. "Kendall has the most amazing eyes…"

"I wasn't exactly expecting that," Lauren replied with a soft laugh. "Why do you sound so confused about your relationship?" James shrugged and leaned closer than necessary towards the girl.

"I fucked up," he laughed humorlessly, earning himself a few stares from the people around them. He ignored them. "I shouldn't have ever come out here. I _want _this, but I _need _him."

Lauren opened her mouth like she wanted to reply, but she didn't. James took that as an indication that he could keep talking.

"And it's been three fucking months. I should have called him… I should've, but I didn't and I just…" He ran a shaky hand through his hair, ignoring the fact that it was more than likely in awful condition now. "I couldn't stay there and do this, which has been my dream for, like, ever and he couldn't come with me because I can't take away _his _dream to play for the Minnesota Wild since it's all he's talked about since we were six years old in peewee hockey!"

Lauren stood up and grabbed James' arm, helping him to his feet. "You're a mess. You need to sleep this off or something because there's no way in hell that you're going to make a good impression on these people like this." She led him outside and called him a taxi, but not before pulling him into a hug and whispering, "You know you can fix this if you really try, right?"

James nodded his head because he did know and he didn't let the fact that he was going to have to try his damnedest to swallow his pride and admit that he was wrong stop him from booking himself a ticket for the next available flight back to Minnesota.

He tried not to regret doing it when Kendall didn't answer his phone call after he landed and when the other boy started screaming at him the second that he showed up at their old daytime haunt.

"I may have fucked up," he tried before being cut off by a snort behind him.

"_May have_," Logan repeated sarcastically before James turned around to glare at him.

Carlos cleared his throat and grabbed Logan's arm a bit roughly. "Logie, I think maybe Jamie has something that he wants to say…"

"Well, _Jamie _had three months to say something where he didn't try to say a word to Kendall and I don't think I could do that to you because I love you. If James loved Kendall, don't you think he would have called?"

"Jamie was busy with his album and stuff!" Carlos argued with a bit of a pout. "He would have called Kendall if he could have! Right, Jamie?"

"He had time to call _you _every night, didn't he?"

James took a little comfort in knowing that Logan was still willing to tell him when he thought he was out of line. "Okay, Logie. Time to shut the fuck up and let me _fix_ this."

Kendall was the one to reply that time with his eyebrows raised. "Good luck with that."

He could see Logan bite back his own retort as he turned but he ignored it for the sake of staring at Kendall imploringly.

* * *

><p>Kendall hadn't <em>meant<em> to yell at James like that, but suddenly all those nights he spent alone in the bed which reminded him so much of James had caught up with him, and yeah, he was still sad, and was absolutely _livid_, but even as he screamed he realised some part of him was singing in glorious ecstasy that James was back in his life.

He felt their whole relationship flash through his head, the first day they ever met and Kendall saved James from some stupid bullies, the first time they ever played hockey together, their first innocent little kid sleepover, their first not so innocent one, and the first time they had kissed. That memory gave him pause.

* * *

><p>It had been a long day at school and the four of them were all sitting in Kendall's living room as per usual, it was their sophomore year of high school, and they were all at the peak of their sexual frustration. Carlos and Logan had just a few days before discovered that they really did like each other as more than friends and were perfectly content with cuddling on the couch, but Kendall and James were a little worse off, both glaring at the TV screen where some group of sexy girls or another were flaunting their beauty about. "God, I'm so horny." Kendall said to himself, blanching a moment later when James turned to him and raised one of those stupid perfectly sculpted eyebrows. "Eh, sorry..." He muttered, breathing a sigh of relief when James shrugged and focused back on the screen.<p>

It took only a few more minutes before Carlos and Logan were giggling and smooching on their side of the couch, earning them twin glares they completely missed. Kendall stood and stretched, jerking his head towards the stairs and his room.

James smiled and stood, eyes lingering only for a second on Carlos and Logan. They walked in silence to Kendall's room, James flopping down onto the blond's bed with a sigh. "Do they always have to do that?"

Kendall shrugged as he pushed the door closed. "They don't mean anything by it, they're just in love." He said with a chuckle as he laid down next to James. Both of them kept their eyes on the ceiling, even as James' right hand automatically slid over to rest on Kendall's inner thigh, stroking lightly up and down it.

They had been like this ever since that night when they were twelve or thirteen and had discovered that it felt even better when someone else was the one touching you. They had never done anything more than give each other handjobs, and had actually resisted the urge to kiss each other on a few different occasions because that would be "gay" but it had just become a part of their friendship.

James sighed and turned his head to look at Kendall, even as his hand slid farther up and began to play with the blond's erection. "Kendall, what are we?" He asked, stopping his movements and turning onto his side, face schooled rather a lot more serious than he usually was.

Kendall frowned and turned his head to face James, a little surprised to see the boy looking so intense. "I don't... I don't really know Jamie..." He said with a thoughtful frown, realising he actually didn't know what to call their relationship.

James sighed dramatically and threw his left hand in the air, exasperated. "I just. I don't know, I guess I'm tired of us being single and whatever and then Carlos and Logan are just rubbing their adorable, annoying, fan-fucking-tastic gayness in our faces! I just fucking wish that we cou-" his voice was cut off as Kendall grabbed his face and kissed him very suddenly.

It wasn't really something Kendall had meant to do, but he was glad he had done it. Not only had it shut James up like his goal had been, but after James got over his initial shock, it was rather enjoyable kissing the brunet.

It was a nice kiss they both decided, only finally pulling back once they had exhausted their efforts to explore each other and also, their air supply. It was James who spoke first. "So does that mean we're like... together?"

Kendall blanched and looked away form James. "I.. I don't know... d-do you want that..?" He asked, blushing a little not only at his stutter, but at the mere thought of being with James like that. It wasn't an idea he disliked, it just seemed... odd.

James had to think about that one, on one hand, he just wanted to belong to anyone, but on the other, this was _Kendall _his best friend since they were six. Plus, Kendall was a guy, he had never much paid attention to that sort of thing, mostly because in Minnesota it was hard to find something besides straight people, but he had never explicitly wanted to be with a guy.

James fought in his head with himself for a good minute before he finally came to a decision and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I uhm... think I do want that."

Kendall looked back to him, surprise and _was that relief_? James asked himself, waiting for Kendall to say something. "A-are you sure Jamie..?" Kendal finally asked, looking simultaneously hopeful and scared.

James nodded. "Yes, I am... Kendall, will you be my boyfriend?"

Kendall was a little stunned, he had been hoping for a moment like this for almost a year now, he had always wanted to be with James as more than just friends who sometimes did sexy things together, but he hadn't known how to ask, or go about saying it, so he had swallowed his desire and took what he could get. He nodded slowly, eyes nearly unfocused as he processed what had happened. "I-I would very much like that.." He finally said.

* * *

><p>Kendall ripped himself back into the present and locked eyes with James, having lost all of his anger either to the other boy's imploring face, or to the memory. He felt tears running down his face again and shook his head. "Jamie, why..?" He managed to gasp out, stiffening when he felt James put his arms around him. He fought with himself not to be soothed, but James was just so familiar and it wasn't really fair, but James always calmed Kendall down when he hugged him like that.<p>

"I'm sorry, so fucking sorry." James whispered as Kendall continued to cry into his shirt.

They spent a long few minutes like that, James whispering soothing phrases into Kendall's ear as the blond let out all of his pain, until finally Kendall was dry-eyed again and the brunet was smiling softly. Now he understood, Kendall maybe didn't mean everything in the world to him, but he meant enough that he didn't want to be famous unless he could share it with the blonde. He knew there would be a lot to answer for when he got back to LA, but he pushed those thoughts away and instead smiled gently at Kendall as the blonde pulled away and wiped his face.

"So, I know there's not anything I can do to take back what I did, but I would love the chance to try and make it up to you... Kendall, will you go to dinner with me tonight, please?" he asked, looking almost as scared as he had that time when they were seven and the school bully had threatened to pound his "pretty little face" in.

Kendall let out a weak laugh and shook his head in slight amusement. "Okay. But don't expect this to just go away." He saw James' face light up and smiled softly. "You're gonna have to work for this Diamond."

James nodded with enthusiasm and then turned his attention to Logan, who was in the background, lips pursed and looking a little like he wanted to tell Kendall it was all a mistake. He sighed slightly and walked over to the shorter brunet. "Carlos, can I have a word with Logan please?" Logan looked slightly perplexed, but seemed okay enough with the idea, so he smiled and nodded gently when Carlos looked at him.

"It's fine Carlitos. just give us a minute." Carlos nodded slowly and relinquished his hold on Logan, moving over to where Kendall was and smiling gently at the blond.

James watched him go and then turned back to smile at Logan. "Okay, so, I don't blame you for being mad at me, actually, I want to thank you, everything you said, while some of it pissed me off, actually helped me realize how much I really did fuck all of this up. You're a really great friend Logan, and I don't blame you for not trusting me, but just give me a chance to prove I can work this out this time. Please?"

Logan sighed. He really wanted to tell James to fuck off and get the hell back out of their lives, but there were at least two problems with that; first, Kendall obviously wanted to give James a chance to fix his mistake, and even though Logan didn't quite think he deserved it, he knew he owed to the blond to give it a chance; and secondly, more importantly even, he could also see the genuine regret and care in James' eyes. He didn't know what had happened out in LA, but James had obviously learned that Kendall was his better half, and Logan owed it to his own principle to give the pretty boy a chance.

"Alright, fine. But _one_ chance only. If you hurt Kendall again, I will _break _you, and if you come out unscathed, you will _not_ get anywhere near him _ever again_." Logan said, stressing his demands and nodding curtly.

James nodded seriously. "Deal." He said simply and then turned to walk away, stopping when he felt Logan's hand on his arm.

Logan sighed, not sure what exactly was compelling him to express himself, but knowing he should do it anyway. "Look, James, I know you didn't mean to do that to him, but he wouldn't be able to survive being hurt like that again, just be careful, please."

James nodded again, this time slower and with a soft smile. "Don't worry Logie, I've fucked this up one time too many. It's not a mistake I'll repeat."

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><p><strong>Ending Notes<strong>: I spent a long time debating if I should add anything to the end of this once I got it to where it is. I don't think it's necessary. If anything, it needs a "part 2" but that's a project for another time. Hope you liked it~.


	10. Nyx and Jack

**Author's Notes:** OMG, I think this is the first of the oneshots that _isn't_ and BTR fic. xD This was started as a collab by my bestest frand in the whole world, but then she quite, 'cause she's lazy. Enjoy it. Oh, and I don't own _Torchwood._

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><p>It was dark in the room, as it should be. Nyx stared into the smolder of his lit cigarette. He watched as the paper singed and blackened under the dark red and orange flower that consumed the tobacco.<p>

Sometimes he thought he wanted to let go; let the flower consume him too. He took a drag and let the heat race past his teeth into the pit of his stomach, where it writhed and twisted his insides. Holding his breath he let the nicotine flow into his blood stream, poisoning his body.

Lately Nyx could hardly pull himself out of bed. He hadn't changed his clothes in days. One of Ianto's old button downs and some old tattered jeans that wouldn't have fit him a few months ago. He hadn't been eating either. The most that passed between his lips in the past week were a few slivers of raw tenderloin and the opaque heat of cigarette smoke. There was nothing in the fridge in his apartment except an unopened jar of black smoked caviar and an icy flank cutlet.

When he finally exhaled there was a knock, "Nyx? Nxy, are you in there? It's been days since we've seen you." a gentle yet masculine voice came from behind his bedroom door. "If you're in there let me in. I need to talk to you."

"Go away, Jack." Nyx murmured into his pillow. He knew no ordinary human would be able to hear him, but the decades had heightened the infamous Captain Jack Harkness's senses.

"I'm coming in." The handle on the door jiggle but didn't open. "Really? You locked me out?"

"For your information, Jack. I locked _everyone _out. Not just you. The world doesn't revolve around you,_ dearest_." Nyx made sure to put emphasis on the usually endearing term.

There was a brief pause where the air went stagnant. Then, "I'll just pick the lock you know." he sounded almost sad. But then, Jack always sounded like that these days.

"Whatever." He said rolling over on the floor grounded mattress. The word hung in the air as the sound pins infiltrating the lock on the door reached his ears.

The next thing Nyx knew he was being scooped up into warm, comforting arms. The smell of old cologne and chocolate filled his nostrils and tears began to fall down his face. _No, no, no, no. This can't be happening. No tears. Not from me. _But the tears kept falling no matter how hard he tried to make them stop.

"Jack, w-why did he leave? Why did Ianto go? He didn't love me. He didn't love us. If he had he wouldn't have left." he sobbed into Jack's trench coat. Jack shifted the young man's body in his arms so they could both sit up on the mattress. This allowed Jack to see just how emaciated Nyx was. It was dead obvious that food wasn't exactly on his schedule.

Harkness was silent for a moment while the sobs kept coming. He ran his fingers through Nyx's soft white blonde hair; stopping only to hold him closer. "He… Ianto…" Jack's throat squeezed around the name making it nearly inaudible, "Ianto didn't leave us, Nyx. He's... he's moved on."

Jack adjusted himself so that Nyx could see his face, "I know you're hurt, and I know you've needed time to be on your own, but you cant just abandon everyone else who loves you. Your friends care about you and miss you. Gwen has been going insane and even though she doesn't show it, Basta is worried too. We need you back… _I _need you back."

Nyx looked into the handsome face that had shown him so much, and yet had hurt him so badly. With out thinking he pressed his lips to Jack's for a brief second. The older man pulled back, several emotions passing over his face, surprise, guilt, excitement, before finally settling on lust. Jack put his hand on the back of Nyx's neck, drew him in, and the two locked lips.

Their hands moved feverishly over each other's bodies and Nyx could barely tell where he began and Jack ended. He felt a sort of relief come over him as Harkness crushed his lips against the young man's throat. Parted lips traveled down his torso, unbuttoning the shirt as he went. Shedding the pain and misery, but not the memory of Ianto's death with the removal of clothing.

Finally Nyx lay naked on the bed panting. Jack stood, and took his time stripping off each layer of his own clothing while gazing intently into the clear azure pools that were filled with uncertainty.

When all his clothing was removed Jack straddled Nyx. The boy blushed and turned his head away, "I.. I'm imperfect" was all he could rasp out. Jack put a finger under his chin and raised the blushing face so that Nyx's eyes could look nowhere else, "You're beautiful." The young man blushed again and attempted to avert his eyes, only to be stopped and kissed by the man he had so missed.

"Imperfection is by definition, the measure of perfection. You're just the way you're meant to be, love." Jack's words were quiet, but easily audible to the other man, and he punctuated them with another bout of kisses along Nyx's neck and then torso.

"J-jack… ah, I-I don't know the we s-should…" Nyx's protests grew quiet as Jack's mouth approached its prize.

"Why the bloody hell not?" Jack rarely cussed and Nyx flinched slightly as the harsh language left his mouth.

"Well… I… neither of us is really… in our right minds I guess, we're both upset and I… I just don't know if now is the time…" Jack sat back and looked down at him, eyes full of lust, but also respect.

"Nyx, I don't disagree with any of that, but I…" here he paused and looked off out of the window for a long moment, swallowing finally and looking back down, eyes now full of sorrow. "I want to move past Yan's death, he was amazing in more ways than one could possibly name, but he's not coming back and if we can be of some comfort to each other in this time of pain, then why deny ourselves that?"

"Well, because it wouldn't be fair to his memory for us to do this, not now… he loved you more than the world Jack Harkness and you were too afraid of losing him to tell him you cared just as much… I don't want to dishonor his memory, his life, or his love for you, by having a cheap fuck before we're ready to be mature about it… besides, we're especially not going to do it in _his_ bed." Nyx's eyes steeled as he crossed his arms. "We're both in more pain than you want to admit and that makes this dangerous Jack!"

Jack sighed and climbed off of the smaller male. "You'e right… I… didn't think of it like that." He smiled as Nyx snuggled up to his back. "I didn't even say I loved him back…" Jack had kept the tears at bay ever since that first night, using the excuse of rebuilding the hub to distract himself, but now back in the last place he had seen Ianto laughing and truly _alive_ the pain rushed back.

"I… I think he knew Jack, you cared for him more than any of the rest of us, and sometimes I was jealous of that, but you know what I was really jealous of?" Jack could hear Nyx's voice thicken with emotion and he rolled over to look him in the eye.

"No, I don't…" he had never quite noticed those eyes, how uncannily cat like, but somehow still human they were, but now; they drew him in and he felt safer than he had since Ianto's death when he looked into them.

"You Jack Harkness, the way he looked at you made me want for that kind of love and now the best man that's ever cared about…" here a pause, and Jack saw those eyes darken with pain, "us is gone… because we didn't have the strength to save him." now the tears the Nyx had pushed away came back, this time softer, but still tears, which were kissed away by the older man.

"It had nothing to do with you Nyx, I was the one that should have been able to save him." Jack's own eyes clouded as they once again locked with the younger man's. Blue met stormy grey and they were once again kissing, though this time with less earnest, more leisure.

They spent a long time just holding each other and exploring the feeling of being loved again. Ianto had meant more than the world to these two men, and the sudden loss of him was more than just painful. It was practically devastating.

They might not ever truly be able to move on from Ianto's death, but they both saw in that moment that maybe it was okay to care about someone else. Ianto woulds always be in their hearts, but he would have wanted the both of them to move on as best they could. His memory would be with them for the rest of their collective lives, and it wouldn't be fair to stop themselves from exploring this... whatever _this_ was.

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><p><strong>Ending Notes:<strong> Lolololol IDEK. I likes it well enough, and it's a little cut off, but I got lazy, and tired of looking at it, so yeah. Hope you like.


	11. James Christmas Angst

**Author's Notes: **Still don't own BTR. Sob Sob.

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><p>James was surprised at himself. Christmas had never been his happiest time of the year, especially when his mom was absent, of course, he <em>had<em> loved the gifts, but it wasn't the same, just seeing his mom for a brief moment and then having to spend the day alone.

When he was 13, Mrs. Knight had taken him in and he had spent every Christmas since with the Knights, it wasn't perfect, but it was a nice time, and he loved how much the woman seemed to care for her children, even the ones who weren't actually he own. He had a lot of good memories from his Christmases with the Knights, but he still wished his mom had made more effort to be around for him.

This year though, he was spending it alone, and in the dark. He just couldn't bring himself to celebrate a feeling of togetherness on this day. He was alone, and Christmas only reminded him of that fact. He sighed and clicked over to his Pandora on his laptop, jumping slightly when it started playing Christmas music.

He debated throwing the computer across the room in anger, but just resigned himself to it and shoved it to his right, getting up to go to his kitchen and fix himself something to eat. He sighed as he made a sandwich, pausing and swallowing thickly and banging his hand against the counter and letting the knife he was holding clatter to the floor.

He gasped shallowly and leaned against the counter, swallowing again and blinking around his watering eyes. "I won't cry. I _won't_ cry." He said out loud too himself, bending to pick up his knife and forcing some semblance of composure onto his face as he finished making the sandwich.

He went back into the living room with his plate and sat back down on his couch, biting into the sandwich slowly, looking distraught. His apartment was bare of any decoration, and he liked it that way, somehow, sitting alone in the dark was making him feel a little better.

He gasped a second later as a song he instantly recognized came on.

_Last Christmas, I gave you my heart_

_But the very next day, you gave it away_

_This year to save me from tears_

_I'll give it to someone special_

_Once bitten and twice shy_

_I keep my distance but you still catch my eye_

_Tell me, baby, do you recognize me?_

_Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me_

_Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it_

_With a note saying, "I love you", I meant it_

_Now I know what a fool I've been_

_But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again_

This time he couldn't hold the tears back, and he dropped his plate roughly, the ceramic barely surviving the impact with hardwood flooring.

The sandwich was not so lucky, but James was past the point of noticing, much less _caring_. He whimpered a little as his tears fell, rolling himself into a ball and sobbing against his knees on the expensive leather couch.

"F-fuck..." He gasped out, remembering this day last year, where he had thought it was all so perfect. The song continued to play, and he practically screamed about how ironic it was that the song fit so well.

"K-Kendall." He didn't even realize he was speaking out loud, but his thoughts were heading southward to his blonde boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend. They had gotten together with little to do, but James had fallen hard and fast for the other boy. He had told Kendall that he loved him, and in fact bought him a sophisticated (manly even) promise ring. "I loved you so much..." He was still talking out loud to himself, but not really aware of it.

Kendall had accepted the gift graciously, he was even happy about it. Or so James had thought. He must have done something wrong though, because Kendall had broken up with him, nearly violently, the next day.

He took a shuddering breath and felt more tears falling.

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><p><strong>Ending Notes:<strong> My brain is made of angst. Lololol


	12. It's Chapter 11, just in Welsh

**Author's Notes:** I translated it into Welsh... because I could, and I think it's pretty to look at. Enjoy.

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><p>James yn synnu ei hun. Nadolig erioed wedi bod yn ei amser hapusaf y flwyddyn, yn enwedig pan ei mom yn absennol, wrth gwrs, ei fod wedi caru y rhoddion, ond nid oedd yr un fath, dim ond yn gweld ei mom am eiliad fer ac yna gorfod treulio diwrnod ei ben ei hun.<p>

Pan oedd yn 13, roedd Mrs. Knight mynd ag ef i mewn ac yr oedd wedi treulio bob Nadolig ers â Marchogion, nid oedd yn berffaith, ond roedd yn amser braf, ac yn caru faint y wraig yn ymddangos i ofalu am ei phlant, hyd yn oed y rhai nad oeddent mewn gwirionedd ei hun. Roedd ganddo lawer o atgofion da o'i Nadoligau gyda'r Knights, ond mae'n dal i ddymuno ei mom wedi gwneud mwy o ymdrech i fod o gwmpas ar ei ran.

Eleni, fodd bynnag, ei fod yn gwario ei ben ei hun, ac yn y tywyllwch. Mae'n ddim yn gallu dod i ddathlu ei hun deimlad o undod ar y diwrnod hwn. Cafodd ei ben ei hun, a dim ond y Nadolig ei atgoffa am y ffaith honno. Mae'n ochneidiodd a chlicio dros ei Pandora ar ei liniadur, neidio ychydig pan ddechreuodd chwarae cerddoriaeth y Nadolig.

Mae'n trafod taflu y cyfrifiadur ar draws yr ystafell yn dicter, ond dim ond ymddiswyddodd ei hun iddo ac Gwthiodd ei fod at ei dde, cael hyd i fynd at ei gegin a gosod ei hun yn rhywbeth i'w fwyta. Mae'n ochneidiodd wrth iddo wneud brechdan, gan oedi a llyncu trwchus a bangio ei law yn erbyn y cownter a gosod y gyllell ei fod yn dal twrw i'r llawr.

Mae'n gasped shallowly ac yn pwyso yn erbyn y cownter, llyncu unwaith eto ac yn amrantu o amgylch ei lygaid dyfrio. "Wna i ddim crio. Wna i ddim crio. "Dywedodd hefyd yn uchel ei hun, plygu i godi ei gyllell ac yn gorfodi rhai semblance o hunanfeddiant ar ei wyneb wrth iddo orffen gwneud y frechdan.

Aeth yn ôl i mewn i'r ystafell fyw gyda'i plât ac eistedd yn ôl i lawr ar ei soffa, brathu yn y frechdan yn araf, yn edrych trallodus. Roedd ei fflat yn noeth o unrhyw addurniadau, ac mae'n hoffi pethau felly, rywsut, yn eistedd ei ben ei hun yn y tywyllwch yn gwneud iddo deimlo ychydig yn well.

Mae'n gasped ail yn ddiweddarach fel cân iddo unwaith cydnabod daeth ar.

Nadolig diwethaf, rhoddais fy nghalon i chi

Ond y diwrnod nesaf, a roesoch i ffwrdd

Mae hyn yn flwyddyn i achub fi rhag dagrau

'N annhymerus' ei roi i rywun arbennig

Unwaith eich cnoi a dwywaith yn swil

Rwy'n cadw fy pellter, ond byddwch yn dal i ddal fy llygaid

Dywedwch wrthyf, baban, a ydych chi'n adnabod i mi?

Wel, mae wedi bod yn flwyddyn, nid yw'n syndod i mi

Nadolig Llawen, yr wyf yn ei lapio i fyny a'i hanfon

Gyda nodyn yn dweud, "Rwyf wrth fy modd i chi", yr wyf yn golygu ei

Nawr rwy'n gwybod beth yw ffwl rydw i wedi bod yn

Ond os ydych cusanodd i mi nawr rwy'n gwybod y byddech yn ffwl mi eto

Y tro hwn ni allai ddal y dagrau yn ôl, ac efe a gollwng ei blât yn fras, y ceramig prin sydd wedi goroesi effaith gyda lloriau pren caled.

Nid oedd y frechdan mor lwcus, ond roedd y gorffennol James y pwynt o sylwi, llawer llai gofalu. Mae'n whimpered ychydig fel y syrthiodd ei ddagrau, rolio ei hun i mewn i bêl ac yn crio yn erbyn ei liniau ar y soffa ledr drud.

"F-fuck ..." Roedd gasped allan, gan gofio y dydd hwn y llynedd, lle'r oedd wedi meddwl ei fod i gyd mor berffaith. Mae'r gân yn parhau i chwarae, ac roedd yn ymarferol sgrechian am sut yr oedd eironig bod y gân cyd-fynd mor dda.

"K-Kendall." Doedd e ddim hyd yn oed yn sylweddoli ei fod yn siarad yn uchel, ond ei feddyliau yn mynd tua'r de at ei gariad melyn. Wel, cyn-gariad. Roeddent wedi gotten ynghyd â llawer i'w wneud, ond mae James wedi disgyn caled a chyflym ar gyfer y bachgen arall. Roedd wedi dweud wrth Kendall ei fod ef ei garu, ac mewn gwirionedd prynodd ef, ffoniwch addewid soffistigedig (manly hyd yn oed). "Roeddwn wrth fy modd i chi gymaint ..." Roedd yn dal i siarad yn uchel iddo ei hun, ond ddim wir yn ymwybodol ohono.

Kendall wedi derbyn y rhodd rasol, roedd hyd yn oed yn hapus am y peth. Neu fel James wedi meddwl. Mae'n rhaid ei fod wedi gwneud rhywbeth o'i le, fodd bynnag, gan fod Kendall wedi torri i fyny gydag ef, bron yn dreisgar, y diwrnod nesaf.

Cymerodd anadl shuddering a theimlai dagrau yn fwy disgyn.


	13. KendallXDustinXJames or Kamustin

**Author's Notes: **This is my early Christmas present to you all. Also my first RPS ever. Might be my last... I made up a relationship name~. xD Enjoy I guess. It's angsty and fluffy. No smut though, sorry.

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><p>Kendall was freaking out, actually he was almost on the verge of pulling his hair out.<p>

What could he do, he was in love with his best friend since he was twelve. Except, that was only the half of it. Literally. He was also in love with one of the newer boys in his life. All of his band and cast mates had quickly become his new best friends, but James was different somehow. Everything he did was captivating, the way he moved, the way he talked, the way he looked, _everything._

He sighed for what felt like the millionth time and turned over on the couch in the oddly empty tour bus. James had taken everyone out for coffee or something, honestly, he could barely keep track when the taller man talked these days. He didn't even remember the excuse he had given to the other boys as to why he didn't want to go, but it had worked well enough and he was rid of them for an hour or so.

He had meant to use the time to think about what he wanted to do, but all he had accomplished at this point was turning himself on to the point of having a painful boner and causing a ridiculously powerful desire to rip his own hair out.

He cursed loudly and rolled over again, glaring at the stupid door to the stupid bus, jumping as it banged open a moment later and _speak of the devil_. In walked James and Dustin, laughing about some joke the brunet had just finished telling and grinning like they were just having the times of their lives.

He tried not to look too upset, but obviously didn't do too well as he sat up. Dustin's smile practically dropped off the face of the earth and he was suddenly at Kendall's side. _How the fuck does he do that?_ He asked himself and smiled as best he could as Dustin wrapped his right arm around the blond's shoulders.

"Kenny! What's wrong buddy?" He asked with another laugh. Kendall sighed, he wanted to tell the both of them how he felt, except he had spent the last two hours trying to choose, and hadn't been able to decide between them.

He shook his head and shrugged Dustin's arm off. "Nothing man." He tried not to sound too bitter, but the look on Dustin's face and the frown marring James' face instantly told him he didn't do too well.

He wanted to yell at the pretty brunet not to ever look like that again, but he bit his tongue, _literally_, and looked down at his own feet.

James was soon on his other side and he cursed the universe for doing these things to him.

"Kendall, obviously it's not nothing, what's wrong?" James asked, hand resting lightly on Kendall's right thigh.

He hated that he wanted to tell the both of them to fuck off and leave him alone, and he hated even more that he knew that was just a defense mechanism because he didn't want to choose. Or tell them the truth even.

Kendall sighed and buried his head in his hands. "Guys... there's something I need to tell you..." He said slowly, avoiding both of their gazes. He jumped to his feet and started pacing as he felt the both of them start to reach out and lay comforting hands on them again. He didn't need more physical contact to make the situation even worse. "I uhm..." He started and then snapped his mouth shut, pacing back and forth in front of the couch. "Actually, wait, where's Cargan?" He asks them, using the adopted nickname for the missing pair of boys.

"Uhm..." Dustin paused, looking like he was trying to remember something. "I think they went out to find... something... a cake maybe..?" He said, shrugging a moment later. "They said they'd be back in an hour or so." He adds looking rather unconcerned.

"Oh... right... uhm... okay..." Kendall says falling quiet and continuing his pacing. He was silent for nearly a minute before James cleared his throat. He turned to look at the brunet, who had raised an eyebrow.

"Wasn't there something you were going to tell us..?" He asked, looking quite interested.

"Oh. Uhm. Yeah. I uh..." He sighed and came to a stop in front of them, looking seriousl, but nervous. "I have these uhm... feelings..." He started and then had to pause and swallow thickly. "About... you guys. _Both_ of you." He said finally, looking down at his feet again and then everything just rushed out. "Except, I can't fucking decide who I like more, because I've been in love with you Dustin since I was like twelve, but James is like fucking _perfect_ and I can't fucking pick and it's horrible and I don't deserve either of you in the first damn place!"

He was left slightly out of breath and looking only a little manic, gaze sliding back and forth between the two attractive men in front of him.

There was a few moment of silence before James broke into a grin and turned to look at Dustin, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow arching in a silent question.

Dustin nodded, with his own grin and they turned back to Kendall.

James stood and walked slowly up to the blond. "Who says you have to pick? Why don't we just share?" He said, grin turning into more of a smirk.

Kendall felt his eyes widen, but before he could protest, James had grabbed him by the back of the neck and was kissing him deeply. He let out a mewl of pleasure into James' mouth and reach up to wrap his arms around the brunet's neck. He pulled away and gasped slightly when he felt a second pair of hands encircle his waist and a strong hot body press itself up against his back. He let out a slight moan as Dustin's mouth connected with his neck, that was kissed away by James, whose hands were sliding up underneath the front of his shirt.

Kendall shivered slightly as he felt James push the fabric up and his abdomen was exposed to the cool air in the bus. He moaned into the kiss as Dustin bit down on his neck, leaving a rather obvious mark.

The need for air overrode his desire to prolong the lip lock with James and he pulled away, panting slightly and moaning again as another bite mark joined the first. "F-fuck. Jamie, Dustin." He gave up on talking a moment later and pulled James closer as he pushed back against Dustin slightly.

James smirked widely and reached down to pull Kendall's shirt up. Dustin assisted his partner in removing their lover's clothing by reaching around and undoing the belt Kendall had on. He undid the buckle with practiced efficiency and slid the strip of leather out of its loops, tossing it toward the couch as his hands slid over Kendall's now bare abs and ghosted across the blond's bulge.

Just as Dustin started to undo the button holding the blond's pants up, they heard the well known noise of the door of the bus swinging open. It was followed quickly by the sound of Carlos melodious laugh and then Logan and his Latino lover were standing at the top of the stares, heads tilted in question at the three boys. Dustin's hands were still resting on Kendall's jeans fastening and the three of them were staring in slightly disbelief at Cargan.

It was as if they had forgotten the other two boys even existed, which, if they were being honest, they had.

There were a few long tense moments before Logan cleared his throat and looked back over at Carlos. "Looks like we're interrupting 'Los, let's come back." he said a little awkwardly turning to walk back outside.

Dustin and James were broken out of their slight shock and moved away from Kendall, who fought the urge to whimper at his lost contact. "No, it's alright guys, we should uhm... probably talk some more before anything major goes on anyway..." James said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

Logan nodded slowly and turned back to drag Carlos past Kendall, closing the door to one of the small bedroom areas behind them.

The three remaining men looked at each other and burst into laughter, James falling back onto the couch and Kendall against Dustin, who leaned back against the counter.

They calmed down and looked at each other, silently deciding and moving back into the second bedroom.

They fell in a tangle onto the large bed in the room, and as Kendall drifted off to sleep later that night, he sighed contentedly, but there was still a voice in his mind.

_You don't deserve them Kendall_. It said, mocking him in a voice much as if Dustin and James were speaking together.

_What if I do._ He countered, ignoring any further response as Dustin pulled him closer and James leaned over to place a light kiss to his temple.

They fell into something powerful that night, and Kendall was forever glad he ignored his insecurities, for if he had not, he would not have found the two best things that would ever happen to him.

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><p><strong>Ending Notes:<strong> I hope you liked it. Let me know, reviews really _**do**___make my day~. Happy Holidays, have a great season!~


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